National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.

My mom has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. She was admitted to the hospital following 2 weeks of nausea, vomiting, fatigue, and finally acute pain in her abdomen. Once she was went in to the ER, the doctors were fairly sure that she was having a gall bladder attack, and decided to do surgery. Once the doctor was inside, he did find a gall bladder infection, but didn't feel that was the root of her problems. Upon further investigation, the doctor found spots on the liver. The diagnosis that they gave us in the beginning was not good at all, but after further testing such as a bone scan, which was clear, a head scan which was also clear, and an MRI, which showed one lump in one breast. The doctor said that this was very treatable. The doctor started her on the cancer drug Arimidex. She was released from the hospital, and is now at home, and has been for ten days. She is now very depressed, and is not eating well. She is weak, but I feel that most of that is stemming from the fact that she is not eating. She is not sleeping at night, and I feel that is due to the Steroid med that she is taking. She does not want my dad to be away from her at all. She is doing nothing on her own. She gets off the couch and goes to the bathroom, she goes to the kitchen for meals, and she takes a shower. Other than this, she stays on the couch all day, and has in the last two nights moved to her bedroom. She refuses to see people at all. I don't live in the same state as her, and I have been away from home for a month, and I am leaving to go home today. This has depressed her further. I feel terrible, for having to leave, but I have to go home. I have two small children, who haven't been in their own beds in a month. They have been kinda pushed from here to there, as we have been dealing with this, and the stress is really getting to them. I don't think that my mother is dealing with this at all. I feel that she has taken to her bed, and decided to shut the world out. I don't think that she is still suffering side effects from a laparascopic surgery from almost a month ago. I think that she is just depressed, and my dad is babying her too much. My mom has always been a very independent woman. It has thrown me for a loop to see her this way. I don't mean to belittle the fact that she has breast cancer. We are all devastated. I just fear that if we continue to do everything for her, and allow her to remain in the bed, that we are not helping her at all. I turn to you... any of you, for advice. I don't want to push her too hard. I don't want her to be up running around, cooking and cleaning to make me feel better or anything like that. I just want to know if I am thinking on the right track. Is she refusing to deal? Has she decided that she is going to give up? What do we need to do? Is it helpful that we are at her beckon call? I would appreciate any insight that anyone may be able to give me in this situation. I am scared! I want to HELP her, not hinder her.