National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.

Just before dawn, when I first awaken I forget who I am and I forget I have cancer....that is my favorite time of day. In the next moment I remember everything and that is when I must choose how I will approach the rest of my day...will I choose peace, will I choose avoidance and perhaps sleep all day, will I choose to exercise my spirit and strengthen my resolve to get beyond this "thing" no matter how it turns out or will I just ignore "it" in hopes that it will go away? So many possibilities and opportunities....I'm not sure where to start sometimes. Today, however, I am blessed to be alive and to make choices and luckily I have the house all to myself until this evening and I can relax and feel however I feel from one moment to the next without having to consider how my experience is effecting everyone else. It is a relief, like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I am enjoying my time alone. It's time to stop letting my cancer rule my world so it's business as usual for now. I have played with my babies and had my latte and have begun to do some things around the house to keep myself in motion. Afterwards I will sit down to journal and draw and to make myself a list of things I want to accomplish in the next couple of months. I feel the need to get organized. The one thing I have discovered is that all the medical stuff has interrupted my ability to concentrate so it's time for writing stuff down. So, bottom line, I'm doing okay today...choosing peace again and again and again as I go along. So far, so good.