National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.

Well most of u know me and u know i was diagnosed in july of this year. Well i had not gone back and looked at my profile since i started and ive come aways since i started on this site, well i went back and looked at what i had wrote when i first started and had to laugh...Where it says who would u like to meet? and i say ( NOT GOD YET)...had to get a chuckle out of it...There is a big difference now of what i have learned and researched and what i have gone through..if u r in the same place as me go back and read what u first wrote when u got the news and just thought u got the death sentence. I am two weeks in to the surgery and it feels so good to think straight i am not looking forward to the chemo again the pain of the surgery i think i can endure more than having that chemo brain. I sit here and the house is so quiet, it is the first time i have been with out my husband home since we were married he is on a fishing trip for two days i had to say please goooooooo....he has been by my side the whole time and when i say side i mean he was in that little bed in the hospital with me for 5 days....never left....ate that crappy food with me and kissed me all the time...I had to wonder as a women if one breast gone would effect him, it doesnt seem too, he isnt acting any different. He helps me with my exercises and looks at the stitches across my chest like it is nothing...i asked him do u still think i am pretty...and here i sit bald well some is coming back ...fat from the steroids ...and he says why do u ask such a stupid ?......If ever my husband looks through my journal on here i want him to know that i am so lucky to have a man that has been such a rock for me and loves me for who i am and who is there for me everytime i cry, and still loves me when i am mad and call him dumb when im on chemo....and doesnt say anything back to me...who just watched me throw plates in anger and looked at me like i was crazy and i probably was at that moment but didnt say a thing, and damn that felt good. Who says i will never know how u feel but i can see what u r going through and i am there for u. And thank you God for giving me life even though it seems so hard sometimes..and thank you for giving me the friends i have met on here that have to endure this with me...please give us all peace and get us through this so we may help others...and please help our loved ones to understand what we are going through and to have patience with us for this time is the hardest we have ever had to endure on this earth....I hope that all of u out there have a good day tom. maybe God will here me and we all can have one day together feeling cancer free love u guys love and support Wanda