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[Begining:Mom was brought to the hosp Christmas day and i never got to say merry christmas or anything to her nor see her... last time i spent a real day with her was chrsitmas eve. I did see her once and she was awake.. and the only thing she could say or would say was I love you baby and kissed me.]
[[Ending]]
I was sick. I tried to sleep a bit, but i couldnt.
I tried to not think of my mom that much as she was sittin in the hospital’s ICU since christmas morning..
I woke up at 10am.
Then my aunt came in crying...saying how she got a phone call n said mommy wont be makin it.
I just sat there n starred, i couldnt cry...
So i got dressed n junk and went to my grandpa’s n starred at him.. I couldnt say anything.
My cousin Bill was trying to encourage me but then he just would cry.
We zoomed up to the hospital. The whole ride my aunt was tellin me to be strong cuz "mommy doesnt look like her self" [Kidney, liver failures, and interal bleeding]
We get there......rush to the ICU as i saw my cousin who just went to say goodbye [mel].
Nurse comes out n looks at me and says are u sure. i freaked out and said " Yah its my mommy" i started to cry.
My aunt tells me to tell her everything i will be doing in the furture.
So i told my mom that imma gradutate and go to college and i will make her proud no matter what.
I wouldnt let go of her hand.
I just kept Repeating " Mommy i love u, please dont leave me now" bout 100 times.
Then the nurse kept asking where my uncle was and my dad.
Which was makin me pretty pissed off.
I held her hand/arm for dear life, I couldnt let go of her..
I reassured her that she did everything right for me and i was proud of her and she was so strong and some of the memories then whispered you are my sunshine.
Then told her that i know she loved me and i was just gonna miss her and to tell papa i loved him.
No lie i kept saying I i still needed her and would wipe the blood off her nose and ears and cry on her arm....
So later my uncle and aunt come in and then dad n torey.
My uncle was screaming! Right there i was like holy shit my mommy’s leavin me.
My uncle kept repeating "Not my sister Not my sister"
This was there 2nd loss of breast cancer..[ there mom died]
My entire family was all around! everyone!!! I really never thought they'd be there as she died.
Torey was holding on to me.
My mom kept dying and comin back for five min and uncle jeff goes "nancy stop fighting it’ll be ok!" and my dad put his arm on her shoulder and goes "Boop will be ok nan just go its ok!" he was crying his damn eyes out! [divorced]
Right as my dad said "its ok" she died.
I just kept screaming "mommy no i want my mommy."
My Dad and i stood n the room for a long time.
Jackie snuck liam in to say goodbye. lol he had no idea really that she had died.
I was gonna jump on her but i didnt know if i should or not. lol
I cleaned up some of the blood off her face, and some of the junk under her eyes.
Then took off her Pink braclet and put it on my right arm like she had it.
i said good bye n gave her millions of kisses and hugged her n told her i loved her more than anything and said how she was the bestest mommy ever.
We walk out of the shitty hospital.... I saw the most gorgeous sunset!!! Pink Orange Purple!! omg it was so pretty.
I just smiled and whispered have fun and that i loved her!
I never pictured me being there for my own mommy’s death...
I always thought i’d find her in boca in her room or something
But i felt so releaved to tell her that everything is ok and it will be.
We have a bond that no one will ever understand. Seriously.
On the way to my grandpa’s.....this is what liam said
Liam:"Brenna why were u crying?"
Brenna:"Remember Nancy?"
Liam:"YEAH!" *smiles*
Brenna:"Well.....she’s in the clouds."
Liam:"With baby jesus??"
Brenna:"Yeah but he isnt a baby ne more"
Torey:"OOOH Jesus in a tuxedo!" < -- a joke she said.
Liam:*Puts head down and pouted*
Brenna:"Its ok bubba"
Liam:".....you dont have a mommy anymore?"
Brenna:"Nope, i dont have a mommy"
Liam:"I’m soooooo sorrrry" *hugs me*
Liam:"What cloud is she in??" *looks*
Brenna:*Picks some strange one.*
Thats my 4 year old brother!
[[Ending]]
I was sick. I tried to sleep a bit, but i couldnt.
I tried to not think of my mom that much as she was sittin in the hospital’s ICU since christmas morning..
I woke up at 10am.
Then my aunt came in crying...saying how she got a phone call n said mommy wont be makin it.
I just sat there n starred, i couldnt cry...
So i got dressed n junk and went to my grandpa’s n starred at him.. I couldnt say anything.
My cousin Bill was trying to encourage me but then he just would cry.
We zoomed up to the hospital. The whole ride my aunt was tellin me to be strong cuz "mommy doesnt look like her self" [Kidney, liver failures, and interal bleeding]
We get there......rush to the ICU as i saw my cousin who just went to say goodbye [mel].
Nurse comes out n looks at me and says are u sure. i freaked out and said " Yah its my mommy" i started to cry.
My aunt tells me to tell her everything i will be doing in the furture.
So i told my mom that imma gradutate and go to college and i will make her proud no matter what.
I wouldnt let go of her hand.
I just kept Repeating " Mommy i love u, please dont leave me now" bout 100 times.
Then the nurse kept asking where my uncle was and my dad.
Which was makin me pretty pissed off.
I held her hand/arm for dear life, I couldnt let go of her..
I reassured her that she did everything right for me and i was proud of her and she was so strong and some of the memories then whispered you are my sunshine.
Then told her that i know she loved me and i was just gonna miss her and to tell papa i loved him.
No lie i kept saying I i still needed her and would wipe the blood off her nose and ears and cry on her arm....
So later my uncle and aunt come in and then dad n torey.
My uncle was screaming! Right there i was like holy shit my mommy’s leavin me.
My uncle kept repeating "Not my sister Not my sister"
This was there 2nd loss of breast cancer..[ there mom died]
My entire family was all around! everyone!!! I really never thought they'd be there as she died.
Torey was holding on to me.
My mom kept dying and comin back for five min and uncle jeff goes "nancy stop fighting it’ll be ok!" and my dad put his arm on her shoulder and goes "Boop will be ok nan just go its ok!" he was crying his damn eyes out! [divorced]
Right as my dad said "its ok" she died.
I just kept screaming "mommy no i want my mommy."
My Dad and i stood n the room for a long time.
Jackie snuck liam in to say goodbye. lol he had no idea really that she had died.
I was gonna jump on her but i didnt know if i should or not. lol
I cleaned up some of the blood off her face, and some of the junk under her eyes.
Then took off her Pink braclet and put it on my right arm like she had it.
i said good bye n gave her millions of kisses and hugged her n told her i loved her more than anything and said how she was the bestest mommy ever.
We walk out of the shitty hospital.... I saw the most gorgeous sunset!!! Pink Orange Purple!! omg it was so pretty.
I just smiled and whispered have fun and that i loved her!
I never pictured me being there for my own mommy’s death...
I always thought i’d find her in boca in her room or something
But i felt so releaved to tell her that everything is ok and it will be.
We have a bond that no one will ever understand. Seriously.
On the way to my grandpa’s.....this is what liam said
Liam:"Brenna why were u crying?"
Brenna:"Remember Nancy?"
Liam:"YEAH!" *smiles*
Brenna:"Well.....she’s in the clouds."
Liam:"With baby jesus??"
Brenna:"Yeah but he isnt a baby ne more"
Torey:"OOOH Jesus in a tuxedo!" < -- a joke she said.
Liam:*Puts head down and pouted*
Brenna:"Its ok bubba"
Liam:".....you dont have a mommy anymore?"
Brenna:"Nope, i dont have a mommy"
Liam:"I’m soooooo sorrrry" *hugs me*
Liam:"What cloud is she in??" *looks*
Brenna:*Picks some strange one.*
Thats my 4 year old brother!
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