<?xml version="1.0"?><rss version="2.0"><channel><title>MyNBCF Journals</title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/rss</link><description>MyNBCF Journals</description><item><title><![CDATA[3 weeksago...]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8070</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8070</guid><description><![CDATA[I am an LPN who has gone back to school to finish her RN, it only takes one more year... Im dowm to my last semester with three weeks to go!! So excited! Im laying in my bed on sunday evening watching TV, I run my hand over the top of my chest, I feel a very distinct lump or thickening, I check the other side, it is not present on the left, only the right. I know that it is cancer,`I say to myself, "well there it is" as though I have somehow expected this to happpen. I ponder about whether to say anything or just put it off for only three weeks, thats all I have left of school, I have finals coming up, I do not have time for this. I speak to my best friend every morning on the way to class on our celll phones, I confide in her about my discovery... She has a 26 yr old daughter who recently survived brain cancer.. so I knew what her reply would be, I guessI just needed to hear it out loud, not just in my own head. I called for an apt with my OB/GYN that day (Monday), had a mammogram tuesday (my veryfirst one, I just turned 37 in March). I had a biopsy Wednesday, and my diagnosis Friday at 1:00pm. The following monday I made an apt to go to the Mayo Clinic, they did alot of tests, I received counseling, education and so much support. Even though this Clinic was in Minnesota, a seven hour drive from our home, I had received some reccomendations from women in my area who had been there for this treatment, It felt right in my heart that this is where I should be, I missed my family and friends that was the hardest part, but my husband was with me every step of the way, anyway I had the surgery one week after I arrived. I had a simple,skin sparing right mastecomy with immediate reconstruction, the put in this spacerto allow my chest musclesto expand enough to hold an implant. I took my finals two weeks early (the day before I left)and passsed, I was able to make it home fro the hospital in time to attend my Graduation! I feel so lucky to have found this tumor, I feel brave that I was able to be assertive enough to tackle it immediately. I never knew I had a brave or assertive bone in my body! God is with us all of the time, He knows us even if we dont know ourselves.
PS. T1  N0  MO]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Where is the light at the end of the tunnel?]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8069</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8069</guid><description><![CDATA[Iam not very good at this so bare with me...
I have lost a ot of family memebers to cancer; either by time we found it  it was to late it was everywhere. The others is the catagory i find myself in now. Started in the breast was healed then 4 years to the date of breast cancer diagnisis It returns to the bones.  No one in my family has beaten this.  I started chmo treatments on the date of when my youngest turned 5 years old that would of been 8/24/07 was told things were going great 6months of chemo and i would be done.  We did a PET scan this past Jan. was told it was clear.  I had a big party planned NOBODY in my family on either side of my parents has every gotten this far.  The day that was to be my last chemo my doctor came and seen me and said we need to start the plan for your new chemo.  My husband and I were floored.  The report meaning all clear menat no new growths.  Yes I am very thankful for that.  I am also very thankful that for all the places it was only one spot is left.  I started getting depressed about 6 weeks ago when I started this new chemo which I am allergic to and fighting my doctor to change it.  ALso what has not helped is the peole i have been sitting next to have been fighting cancer on a daily bases for 3 years, 5 years and 9years straight.  I am overwhelmed at them I can not imagine and yes I go on complaing about me .  I have found myself wondering if this is my life now?  I am on medcine so i do not get sick anymore, after treatment for 7-8 days my body aches so bad I can not do anything plus this rash and itching i look like a mess.  I just want to be healthy again so i can enjoy my family. I want to be able to play with my little one not say I am sorry mommy does not feel good.  I know there is people out in the world worse then me I just do not understand why I feel so sorry for myself all of a sudden. I never did before.  It is hard to see everyone around you enjoying everyday life, while your laying on the sofa trying to stay wake and not being in pain or sick.  My brother told me he thinks I need to find people who can relate to me and I will not feel so alone.....so anybody out there who is willing to share i am open for that. ]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[The process thus far...]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8067</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8067</guid><description><![CDATA[May 7th, 2008...7 weeks after surgery. Life was a complete blurrrr for the past 7 weeks. Lots of thoughts going through my head..when coherant! I survived the worst of the pain and am healing with no glitches.....Mike and Elisa took wonderful care of me, and friends came round to help too. The expansion process takes forever! Weekly visits, pain and hardness after...to only yet again add more pain and hardness the very next week!!! I felt like a huge burden for awhile, being so needy, but I was also determined to get through this, and quickly! After all I have things to do, places to go, experiences to enjoy...LIFE is good! I am here.....]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Keep The Faith:  A Set Back]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8062</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8062</guid><description><![CDATA[Hi!

Apologies that it has been so long since I have updated. When last I wrote I was going for my second chemo which went GREAT. I had my blood tested and was fine. M doctor and the nurses were concerned as I lost 6 lbs. I love losing weight, I am not worried myself (smile). I had a bit of a set back though, I forgot to get my shot of neuprin the next day. This is a big no-no. Please, please everyone in treatment, write your appointments down. They are soooo very numerous and the information all comes at you at once that it sometimes is hard. Luckily, my doctor did not YELL at me. However, I now have to wait for my red blood cells to build back up which pushes my next treatment back from May 8th to May 15th--meaning I am doing treatment 2 all over again.

Moral of the story--PAY ATTENTION  when you are ill and get ALL the info written down..and then of course READ IT OVER!

:(]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[iithink all of with b/c will like this]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8061</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8061</guid><description><![CDATA[Some wemon face the impossible and internal battle for the life that connects them with stregth that they never knew they had.....
An opportunity to reach further than the have ever dreamed.
With the heart fo the true survivor, She sets the course for her journey expanding her horizon.
To share the knowledge of her quest with those around her...
Helping them on  there journey, teaching early dectection through self awarness, fostering prevention through education.
But most of all, she serves as a shinning example OF HOW TO SURVIVE.
The constant prayer.....A cure in her life time for her self, her daughters, and friends.

SHE WEARS A PINK RIBBON

Love and support Wanda]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Here's my story]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8060</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8060</guid><description><![CDATA[In August of 2007 I went for my yearly exam - all was good and clear.  September 2007 my husband felt a small lump in my left breast.  I was so busy at work and thought it was a cyst because I thought I was too young to have cancer.  By the time I got to to the Dr. in November of 2007, the lump had quadrupled on size.  I started chemo treatments in December of 2007, finished them in March of 2008 and just last week underwent a modified radical mastectomy where they removed a 5 cm tumor that the months of chemo treatments did not even affect.  Hair loss, weight gain, chemical menopause and now facing 6 weeks of radiation.  This is the very first time I have told my story.  This is the first website I have joined.  I have been reluctant to reach out because I just still can't accept that I have this disease and setting up a profile and putting this down in black and white makes it real and not a terrible dream. 

 ]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hair no hair doesnt matter we still complain]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8059</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8059</guid><description><![CDATA[We spend our lives complaining about bad hair days all the time ex when we are trying to get out the door to go out for the night. Not to mention how many times we change cloths !!! Then one day we are hit with the news we have breast cancer, we loose our hair, we cry and complain about that, then we buy chemo hats, bandanas etc and we complain we cant get those right either, the only thing we do not complain about is how many times our head is rubbed or kissed by some one that loves us , more times in the year of hell than in our whole lives.
I was standing infront of the mirror the other night pulling at the hair that has grown back, i think my husband thought i was nuts, he said what the hell are u doing? i said seeing if it is going to fall out. I still pulled for awhile to reasure myself it was really staying this time. Even when i take a shower i look at my hands to see if there is any nubs and there isnt.
To tell u the truth lol...it looks like crap so here goes another hair complaint, it is so short i might as well still put a bandana on it. It has come back alot darker than before and alot courser. My eyebrows are coming back in but that is really slow as well as the eyelashes, i lift my leg and tell hubby to feel he goes ew...i laugh isnt it great i got stubs !!! i went my whole life bitching that i need to shave my legs and now im happy i have stubs....maybe i wont even shave at all this summer lol just to see if i get the looks like i did bald !!!! Can u just see me dark black hairy legs and one boob!!! maybe i should even lean to the right when i walk lmao...omg what we go through...and the looks we have to take...u know no matter what happens in life we are still complainers no matter what hair or no hair...boobs or no boobs...we are though the strongest people i have ever met love and support hope some got a smile  Wanda]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hair no hair doesnt matter we still complain]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8058</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8058</guid><description><![CDATA[We spend our lives complaining about bad hair days all the time ex when we are trying to get out the door to go out for the night. Not to mention how many times we change cloths !!! Then one day we are hit with the news we have breast cancer, we loose our hair, we cry and complain about that, then we buy chemo hats, bandanas etc and we complain we cant get those right either, the only thing we do not complain about is how many times our head is rubbed or kissed by some one that loves us , more times in the year of hell than in our whole lives.
I was standing infront of the mirror the other night pulling at the hair that has grown back, i think my husband thought i was nuts, he said what the hell are u doing? i said seeing if it is going to fall out. I still pulled for awhile to reasure myself it was really staying this time. Even when i take a shower i look at my hands to see if there is any nubs and there isnt.
To tell u the truth lol...it looks like crap so here goes another hair complaint, it is so short i might as well still put a bandana on it. It has come back alot darker than before and alot courser. My eyebrows are coming back in but that is really slow as well as the eyelashes, i lift my leg and tell hubby to feel he goes ew...i laugh isnt it great i got stubs !!! i went my whole life bitching that i need to shave my legs and now im happy i have stubs....maybe i wont even shave at all this summer lol just to see if i get the looks like i did bald !!!! Can u just see me dark black hairy legs and one boob!!! maybe i should even lean to the right when i walk lmao...omg what we go through...and the looks we have to take...u know no matter what happens in life we are still complainers no matter what hair or no hair...boobs or no boobs...we are though the strongest people i have ever met love and support hope some got a smile  Wanda]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Bye Bye chemo hats]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8057</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8057</guid><description><![CDATA[I decided last night i would get my chemo hats together and take them to the hospital the next day and give them away after my radiation treatment. I bought really pretty ones through ebay from a lady that hand made them , i wanted hats that would not only look pretty but make me feel alittle bit better about myself while i was feeling so bad. This day was the first day of the beg of my life feeling like a survivor. When i walked into the infussion center i looked for the ladies that had chemo hats on or that sat there bald or with hair missing in just some places, as i went to one at a time they looked at the hats and i said would u like to have one of these and there response was no thank you i have no money, with a smile on my face i told them, no they are not for sale pick out one u would like may they give u comfort and some peace for what u r going through because i have been in the chair that u r in. As i did this with my 16 yr old daughter it was so hard for both of us to hold back the tears because we both new the chemo part for me was done and it was such a hard time for me and the whole family. I found so much peace in this as i saw the smile on the last ladies face as i laid the hat next to her with no words just the smile she gave me and the smile i gave her in return. love and support Wanda]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Bye Bye chemo hats]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8056</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8056</guid><description><![CDATA[I decided last night i would get my chemo hats together and take them to the hospital the next day and give them away after my radiation treatment. I bought really pretty ones through ebay from a lady that hand made them , i wanted hats that would not only look pretty but make me feel alittle bit better about myself while i was feeling so bad. This day was the first day of the beg of my life feeling like a survivor. When i walked into the infussion center i looked for the ladies that had chemo hats on or that sat there bald or with hair missing in just some places, as i went to one at a time they looked at the hats and i said would u like to have one of these and there response was no thank you i have no money, with a smile on my face i told them, no they are not for sale pick out one u would like may they give u comfort and some peace for what u r going through because i have been in the chair that u r in. As i did this with my 16 yr old daughter it was so hard for both of us to hold back the tears because we both new the chemo part for me was done and it was such a hard time for me and the whole family. I found so much peace in this as i saw the smile on the last ladies face as i laid the hat next to her with no words just the smile she gave me and the smile i gave her in return. love and support Wanda]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Just found out I have Breast Cancer, what now?]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8054</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8054</guid><description><![CDATA[Last week I found out I have breast cancer - there are 2 good size masses in my left breast - I don't know how to quite wrap my mind around this news - I understand what this disease is and I have made my appointment to go to the Cancer center for evaluation but I really feel almost like it's not real, as  if this is happening to someone else - my friends have all rallied around and they are telling me not to be upset, etc, etc - that's the thing, I'm not upset, I guess you could say I'm numb - I wonder when reality will kick in - on the other hand I want this thing taken out of me right now!! - it's like an alien has taken up residence in my body - people at work that I have told are either treating me like it's not big deal or being overly solicitous, like I am dying - is there something wrong with me? - should I be crying, I know if one of my friends got news like this it would devastate me - I feel so disconnected about the whole thing - am I the only one who felt this way in the beginning?
]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[looking forward]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8053</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8053</guid><description><![CDATA[im 22 years old alredy did 2 chemo 4 more to go.. my next chemo is on may 3 my birthday is on may 7 hoho..im looking forward to finished the cycle i will soon be graduating for my higher diploma in hospitality management.]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Keep The Faith: 2nd Chemo Treatment Today!]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8051</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8051</guid><description><![CDATA[Hi!

Another SLEEPLESS night before my treatment.  This time I was up working on my upcoming Breast Cancer Fundraiser (more on that later) from midnight to about 2:30 am.  Why am I not able to sleep the night before treatment? Who knows...I am not really nervous but then again, perhaps I am!

Leaving right now at 8:02 am  for my 8:30 am appointment.

Will post again later today.]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[My Second Journey]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8050</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8050</guid><description><![CDATA[This is just notes about each of my appointments along the way.

April 7, 2008 - Today I had a biopsy done on my right breast. A mammogram and ultrasound last week showed abnormal findings.

April 9, 2008 - RESULTS -- Positive for breast cancer.

April 10, 2008 - Met Dr. Pavmani today for the first time. I really like him. He said there was more cancer than the 5 places that were biopsied. Set up appointment for a PET/CT scan to see if the cancer has spread anywhere else.

April 21, 2008 - Today I had my PET/CT scan. Not painful at all except it did hurt my bad shoulder because I had to hold my arms up above my head for about 40 minutes.

]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Promise yourself]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8049</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8049</guid><description><![CDATA[Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can 
disturb your peace of mind. 

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to 
every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel like there is 
something in them. 

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your 
optimism come true. 

To think only of the best, to work only for the best, 
and expect only the best. 

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others 
as you are about your own. 

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on the 
greater achievements of the future. 

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give 
every living person you meet a smile. 

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself 
that you have no time to criticize others. 

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, and too 
strong for fear, and to happy to permit the 
presence of trouble.

The Optimist Creed 
From The Optimist International
]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[How many have touched your life]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8048</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8048</guid><description><![CDATA[I guess yesterday was my "ME" day.  I finally broke down and got all messed up in the head and was feeling sooooo sorry for myself.  I hate what all I am going through and I hate the way my surgery looks.  I hate taking medication.  I hate going to the cancer center EVERY day.......but then I guess God yanked me up and put the emergency brakes on.  

I got to thinking about how many people have prayed for me, cared for me, sent cards...I got cards and prayers from people that I do not even know.  My husband was wonderful.  I would not have the energy to cook supper....and out of no where someone would bring over a roast........KFC.......or just bread and lunch meat......I never asked, it just appeared......

About three days after surgery this precious lady (who I have never seen in my life) came to my house to wash cloths, clean floors, start supper and clean bathrooms....anything I needed her to do....she was sent by an unknown friend...and refused payment, as payment was already made by the friend.  

I got to thinking about all of that and all I could do was feel sooooo ashamed of myself.  I am so blessed and so cared about and loved.  Shame on me!!!!!!!!  Thank God for good friends.  

I would like to know what some of the really special things that blessed you and helped you the most were.  I am now on a mission to GIVE BACK the blessings I have been given.  What meant most to you?  BJ]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Whirlwind, New Baby, and Sooooo Many Decisions]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8047</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8047</guid><description><![CDATA[My story is that I found a lump late in my 2nd pregnancy, and sort of dismissed it as just the boob getting ready for nursing.  I kept forgetting to mention it to my ObGyn at all of my prenatal visits...more concerned with the baby...and since it didn't hurt unless I got bumped there, it just kept slipping my mind.  So, after my son was born (12/4/07), I had the lactation nurses and the doc who was on duty that day look at it, and that started this whole process.  I had to go to my regular ObGyn to look at it; he referred me to the hospital’s Breast Center for an ultrasound; then back to my ObGyn for a referral to the breast surgeon who did a core biopsy which happily diagnosed it as a benign fibro adenoma.  All of the above happened by the time my baby was about 6 weeks old.  Meantime, BTW, I kept breast feeding on the good side, which seemed to surprise the doctors that I could do.  I thought that was amusing...they reacted to that as though I was so talented, when, in fact, breast feeding for me even for my first son, who’s now 2, was a challenge (never enough milk).  Anyway, my surgery to remove the fibro adenoma was on 2/22/08, and on 2/29/08 I went back for my follow-up and the path showed it was in fact DCIS (Stage 0, mid-grade…2 out of 3).  At this point, I had to stop breastfeeding so they could get a clear picture of what was going on.  All the milk and the distension of the cells makes it hard for the docs to really see what's going on.  My breast surgeon, at my original appointment with him to get the results of the ultrasound, even said my pictures, when compared to a non-lactating woman looked, "Ugly...SCARY ugly."  (Yikes!)  I had an MRI on 3/13/08 and on 3/21/08 got the results of the MRI...confirming nothing going on in the left side and no node involvement, so lumpectomy with rads was still the recommended course of action.  On 4/8/08 I had my second surgery, but didn't get clear margins, which I found out on 4/14/08.  I got an appt with the plastic surgeon on 4/17/08, and he agrees with the breast surgeon that, even if I try for another lumpectomy, which my breast surgeon is willing to do, I would need recon.  So, my decision is to go with a right mast with recon (tissue expanders) starting immediately, which would mean no rads required.  I’m just waiting for my surgeon’s office to call me back with a surgery date.  I was pretty calm about my decision until my husband, whom I love dearly and feel so bad for because I know he’s stressed and worried about all of this – and, like most men, is a “fixer” – started questioning my decision.  He wasn’t doing it in a mean way, but his first reaction was to try again with the lumpectomy and rads (although, at this point, I don’t think it’s really called a lumpectomy???).  Problem is, the doc can’t guarantee they’ll get all of the DCIS, which would mean yet another surgery (and no choice but to have a mast, then).  Aside from the inconvenience of weeks of rads treatments, I’m concerned that my skin will be compromised by the rads and the delay to get the recon going may make recon more difficult and the result not as good.  Not to mention the fact that, without the mast, I'll be worried that there could be another kind of cancer hanging around in there, too, even though everything is still showing only DCIS, but now high grade (3 out of 3).  Oh, and in the meantime, my husband got a great job offer out of state – something we’ve been working toward for the last 2-3 years! – so we’re trying to figure out how to orchestrate THAT into this whole whirlwind, if possible, but putting my health decisions first of course.  Can we stop the world now?  It’s spinning way to fast, and I’d like to get off!!!
Judy
]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[A poem *She Who Wears a Pink Ribbon* ]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8046</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8046</guid><description><![CDATA[                           She Who Wears a Pink Ribbon

            Some women face the impossible...
   An internal battle for life that connects them
     With strength they never knew they had...
               An opportunity to reach further
               Than they ever dreamed possible.

            With the heart of a true survivor,
           She sets the course of her journey.
               Expanding her horizons 
     To share the knowledge of her quest
             With those around her....
         Helping them on their journey,
    Teaching early detection through self-awareness
      Fostering prevention through education.

  But most of all, she serves as a shining example 
                   Of how to survive.

           Her constant prayer...
           A cure in her lifetime.
  
For herself, her daughters and her friends
       She wears a pink ribbon!



I think this was done by Suzy Toronto]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[The start of my journey]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8045</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8045</guid><description><![CDATA[April 2nd I went into my doctor because I was having migrain type problems. When my blood work came back saying there's something going on with my liver. Next week I'm heading in to the hospital for an ultra sound of my liver. With in that same day I was told I had lesions on my liver. Sent back to have a CT done to then be told that I have concerned areas located on my left breast. That afternoon I was making an appointment to see the breast doctor. That following Wed. I went in for a core biopsy, on Friday 17 at 9am I was told over the phone that I had stage 4 breast cancer. 

I now wait to go to the oncologist to find out what course of action we will be doing. 

]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[i surived breast cancer]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8044</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8044</guid><description><![CDATA[hi iam 42 and have have three kids and surived breast cancer i had my family support and my friends support that ment alot if it was not formy husbant i dont know wher i wood be he worked 14 hours and then wrnt to ever kemo app he worked 6pm to 8am and then went to ever app  he is the greatest person ever  my kids were great too i been through alot but i surived thanks to my family thank you for listing to me  terii]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[i surived breast cancer]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8043</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8043</guid><description><![CDATA[hi iam 42 and have have three kids and surived breast cancer i had my family support and my friends support that ment alot if it was not formy husbant i dont know wher i wood be he worked 14 hours and then wrnt to ever kemo app he worked 6pm to 8am and then went to ever app  he is the greatest person ever  my kids were great too i been through alot but i surived thanks to my family thank you for listing to me  terii]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[i surived breast cancer]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8042</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8042</guid><description><![CDATA[hi iam 42 and have have three kids and surived breast cancer i had my family support and my friends support that ment alot if it was not formy husbant i dont know wher i wood be he worked 14 hours and then wrnt to ever kemo app he worked 6pm to 8am and then went to ever app  he is the greatest person ever  my kids were great too i been through alot but i surived thanks to my family thank you for listing to me  terii]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[how one day can change your life]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8041</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8041</guid><description><![CDATA[Hi my name is denise and i had a mamogram done in november.  the mamogram came back clean as a whistle.  so i assumed i was cancer free.  In febuary i had the flu found a lump in my right breast, thought it would turn out to be nothing because i had a mamogram done in november.  I was wrong the lump turned out to be invasive ductal carcinoma.  thankfully i found it early and had a masectomy done.  I am now trying to recover from the surgery i had done on  march 24th.  the wound looks awful not healing right, and they say i have to have more surgery to have more lymph nodes removed as the first ones they removed had some cancer in them.  On top of dealing with all this my boss fired due to the possible outcome. (long story)  I find that if i can make jokes and stay ahead by reading as much as i can, most times i am ok.  I find i am on an emotional roller coaster and i know i have a long road ahead of me, but i just want to be my old self and have my life back.  i know i will done the road, but i am just at the beginning and this will not end until sometime in the future.]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Don't give up]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8040</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8040</guid><description><![CDATA[If you want a thing bad enough 
To go out and fight for it, 
Work day and night for it, 
Give up your time and your peace and
your sleep for it 

If only desire of it 
Makes you quite mad enough 
Never to tire of it, 
Makes you hold all other things tawdry 
and cheap for it 

If life seems all empty and useless without it 
And all that you scheme and you dream is about it, 

If gladly you'll sweat for it, 
Fret for it, Plan for it, 
Lose all your terror of God or man for it, 

If you'll simply go after that thing that you want. 
With all your capacity, 
Strength and sagacity, 
Faith, hope and confidence, stern pertinacity, 

If neither cold poverty, famished and gaunt, 
Nor sickness nor pain 
Of body or brain 
Can turn you away from the thing that you want, 

If dogged and grim you besiege and beset it, 
You'll get it!

-- Berton Braley 

]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[I guess its early]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8039</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8039</guid><description><![CDATA[Hi everyone,
Its a great day and I'm glad I found this place, 
I am starting a process that I am unsure of, I had a mammogram, and during the mammogram the tech kept  coming back and taking new shots of my left breast,
(9 times), not saying anything at all, then I was taken to have an unltrasound, the doctor did that one and said that I had inflammation and to come back in 6 months.
Okay,  2 days later , my gp called me and said that he was sending me to a Dr.Fant and they would discuss my 2 cm lump.  I was stunned, I went from inflammation to a lump.  After doing some  research  I found out that Dr Fant is an oncologist/surgeon.
Then I receive 2 more letters from the radiology group saying be sure to see a Dr,
to resolve the stabilty of my mammorgram.  
Is this normal? 
Should I worry?]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Advice]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8038</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8038</guid><description><![CDATA[Hi, I am new here, but I found you out of hope that somewhere here could help my voice be heard.

I just turned 30 and have no signs yet of breast cancer.  My mother was diagnosed at 28, my grandmother at 29, her mother also fought it and my grandmother on my father's side.

According to my OB he doesn't recommend a yearly mammogram until a woman turns 40.  I had one last year, and went to him to please request another for me and was told he would not.

Why is it that with family history, and the world knowing about early detection that it is such a fight to get the test that could detect this?]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Getting scared]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8037</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8037</guid><description><![CDATA[In october of 2007, I found a lump in each of my breast. I went to my doc and he said he thought it was cause my hormonies where out of wack and that it was probally just cyst, so i went on birth control. It has been over 7 months and the swelling has gotten worse, so I went back, he said to take 4 ibuprofen 3 times a day. Well that didn't help at all and I can't get any relief from the pain and swelling so i have scheduled another appointment with him for next week, lets see what he says now. The pain is so unbearable at times that I can't even sleep without a bra, or wash them with a wash cloth when I shower. I have not yet experienced any discharge or anything, but I am highly concerned because, I have a 5 year old lil' boy who needs me to be here. I try not to let my mind take over and keep telling myself it is nothing major but, truthfully I am really scared, my family has a history of cyst and I have had several bad paps come back over the years. I need some answers and need something done, I start college come august and it would be great to know someting before then. It doesn't help that I don't have any insurance and can't afford the test, so I just pray that it will all be okay.]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Keep The Faith: Bloggers Support]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8035</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8035</guid><description><![CDATA[Hi!

It's been a few weeks now since I sent out my "official" announcement to THE WORLD that I had Breast Cancer.  I am happy to report that while not everyone was dying to support me via spreading the word, my greatest form of  media support has came from fellow bloggers.

On, April 3rd in Breast Cancer Touches the Fashion Blogosphere, Lesley Scott Founder of Fashion Tribes and former tres chic Fashion Stylist alerted her readers of my condition.  Lesley's own mother lost her life to Breast Cancer several years ago, so this announcement and support was even more valuable to me than you might imagine.  I recalled my first official meeting with Lesley where she proudly mentioned how her now booming Fashion Blog, a true cornucopia of Fashion info began.  It was a vision that was realized with her mother in mind and from the funds she had left over after he passing, very inspiring. Please visit Lesley Scott's Fashion Tribes by logging onto www.fashiontribes.com


On, April 8th Washington DC based Autumn Colbert, the creative voice behind BMore Baplife, also lent her support, by mentioning a bit about my illness in her post Fellow BAP*** Raising Awareness: Tia Walker.  Autumn acknowledged me for my strength and commitment to the cause of Breast Cancer. This is a very big deal. Upon perusing Ms. Colbert's blog roll, one can determine she doesn't just include ANYBODY in on her reporting etc... this was a very encouraging effort. Please visit Autumn Colbert's BMore Baplife at www.bmorebaplife.blogspot.com

There were others who wrote to me and told me things would be OK and that I would get through this, and I heart those efforts as well. There's still a long way to go but at least I know I have the strength and love from a few of the best.

Ciao!

***-in this case BAP refers to Black American Princess...tee hee!]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[I might be very lucky]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8034</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8034</guid><description><![CDATA[Last I wrote, I was trying to decide whether to have a mastectomy or lumpectomy.  Surgeon was not positive my DCIS was in fact insitu.  There was suspicion of some possible early micro invasion.  I did my due dillegence and went to 2 different plastic surgeons in the Boca Raton area ( this town has a thousand plastic surgeons  that do boobs).  My surgeon recommended 2 that she thought I would like and she highly recommended.  I must tell all of you that if you are thinking of mastectomy - reconstrustion today is so good, don't hesitate as to what you will look like.  When I came out of one of the pastic surgeons office - there was a group of 6 women waiting to see the doctor.  All had mastectomies with reconstruction.  All were laughing it up telling  their stories and loving their new perky breasts.  I was almost convinced I should do it since my surgeon told me I had busy boobs and would always be manufacturing something - mostly benign stuff but....???  After lots of soul searching, I decided to go the lumpectomy route with radiation and tamoxifen for 5 years.

My surgery was on feb 28th.  My recovery has been great and my female breast surgeon did a great job.  Lymph nodes were free and clear of any cancer as well.  Now the kicker....the pathology report from the surgery showed no signs of cancer cells.  Lots of other benign stuff but no cancer!  It was confirmed by another pathologist at Vancderbuilt Cancer center.  It is possible the cancer was removed at time of initial biopsy.  To be sure , I had another breast MRI last Thursday - I am anxiously waiting for the result of that.  Hopefully - nothing new will show up that the surgeon missed.  At a minimum, I will need to take tamoxifen.  I may escape radiation.  The wait is always the hardest.

I am very lucky I self examined and discovered my cancer early.  When I made my decision to only have a lumpectomy, I promised myself not to look back.  That's the best advice I can give anyone.  If you choose to have a mastectomy electively- reconstruction today is great - don't look back.  I will post another journal when I get the MRI results.]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[I might be very lucky]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8033</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8033</guid><description><![CDATA[Last I wrote, I was trying to decide whether to have a mastectomy or lumpectomy.  Surgeon was not positive my DCIS was in fact insitu.  There was suspicion of some possible early micro invasion.  I did my due dillegence and went to 2 different plastic surgeons in the Boca Raton area ( this town has a thousand plastic surgeons  that do boobs).  My surgeon recommended 2 that she thought I would like and she highly recommended.  I must tell all of you that if you are thinking of mastectomy - reconstrustion today is so good, don't hesitate as to what you will look like.  When I came out of one of the pastic surgeons office - there was a group of 6 women waiting to see the doctor.  All had mastectomies with reconstruction.  All were laughing it up telling  their stories and loving their new perky breasts.  I was almost convinced I should do it since my surgeon told me I had busy boobs and would always be manufacturing something - mostly benign stuff but....???  After lots of soul searching, I decided to go the lumpectomy route with radiation and tamoxifen for 5 years.

My surgery was on feb 28th.  My recovery has been great and my female breast surgeon did a great job.  Lymph nodes were free and clear of any cancer as well.  Now the kicker....the pathology report from the surgery showed no signs of cancer cells.  Lots of other benign stuff but no cancer!  It was confirmed by another pathologist at Vancderbuilt Cancer center.  It is possible the cancer was removed at time of initial biopsy.  To be sure , I had another breast MRI last Thursday - I am anxiously waiting for the result of that.  Hopefully - nothing new will show up that the surgeon missed.  At a minimum, I will need to take tamoxifen.  I may escape radiation.  The wait is always the hardest.

I am very lucky I self examined and discovered my cancer early.  When I made my decision to only have a lumpectomy, I promised myself not to look back.  That's the best advice I can give anyone.  If you choose to have a mastectomy electively- reconstruction today is great - don't look back.  I will post another journal when I get the MRI results.]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[It's All Started]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8032</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8032</guid><description><![CDATA[  Well, I had the 2 Herceptin treatments, and they weren't bad, just really sleepy from the Benedryl.  The Chemo was not fun.  There was an awful taste that wouldn't go away for about a week.  I ate and ate trying to get rid of the taste, but it didn't help.  Somehow I managed to not throwup!!!!  Yesterday was when everything really hit home, my hair started coming out.  

  It has been pretty easy to kind of ignore the fact that I have BC, until the hair.  Thank goodness I had it cut real short after the Chemo treatment, but it is still scary.  My hair is real thick, so it isn't noticeable.

  Friday my lab showed that my white cell count is low, so I can't be around alot of people.  Hopefully my count will be up by this Friday, because I do not want to postpone a Chemo treatment (my second).  I want this crap over as soon as possible.  

  Thanks to all for listening!!!]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Scared Of Chemo]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8031</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8031</guid><description><![CDATA[I was just diagnois with BC on 3-24-08 (one week before my 34th birthday).  I was told that I have invasisve ductal carcinoma. Not sure if it is in the lyph nodes or not they haven't checked.  I got a second opinion and it seems like since then things have been moving kind of slow.  I postponed the surgery because I wanted to have genetic testing done for BCRA1 and 2.  If this is positive I will need to have a masectomy and not a lumpectomy which I previously wanted to do.  I'd rather have less surgery as possible.  

I  I guess I'd like to ask you all....waht I am looking forward to?  How doesn chemo session work? how may times a week do you need to go?  does radiation start to burn your skin after a while ?  can you wear a bra?  Has anyone unfergone reconstruction using the tummy muscles and fat?  If so, how did that work? 

I know that it is necessary but I am so afraid I heard that chemo can hurt you more than bc, it makes you tired, sick, and painful.  Does chemo make you heal slower?  I heard that you cannot recieve it twice, so if you get BC again you cannot have chemo.  Are these things true?  ]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Scared Of Chemo]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8030</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8030</guid><description><![CDATA[I was just diagnois with BC on 3-24-08 (one week before my 34th birthday).  I was told that I have invasisve ductal carcinoma. Not sure if it is in the lyph nodes or not they haven't checked.  I got a second opinion and it seems like since then things have been moving kind of slow.  I postponed the surgery because I wanted to have genetic testing done for BCRA1 and 2.  If this is positive I will need to have a masectomy and not a lumpectomy which I previously wanted to do.  I'd rather have less surgery as possible.  

I  I guess I'd like to ask you all....waht I am looking forward to?  How doesn chemo session work? how may times a week do you need to go?  does radiation start to burn your skin after a while ?  can you wear a bra?  Has anyone unfergone reconstruction using the tummy muscles and fat?  If so, how did that work? 

I know that it is necessary but I am so afraid I heard that chemo can hurt you more than bc, it makes you tired, sick, and painful.  Does chemo make you heal slower?  I heard that you cannot recieve it twice, so if you get BC again you cannot have chemo.  Are these things true?  ]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Scared Of Chemo]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8029</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8029</guid><description><![CDATA[I was just diagnois with BC on 3-24-08 (one week before my 34th birthday).  I was told that I have invasisve ductal carcinoma. Not sure if it is in the lyph nodes or not they haven't checked.  I got a second opinion and it seems like since then things have been moving kind of slow.  I postponed the surgery because I wanted to have genetic testing done for BCRA1 and 2.  If this is positive I will need to have a masectomy and not a lumpectomy which I previously wanted to do.  I'd rather have less surgery as possible.  

I  I guess I'd like to ask you all....waht I am looking forward to?  How doesn chemo session work? how may times a week do you need to go?  does radiation start to burn your skin after a while ?  can you wear a bra?  Has anyone unfergone reconstruction using the tummy muscles and fat?  If so, how did that work? 

I know that it is necessary but I am so afraid I heard that chemo can hurt you more than bc, it makes you tired, sick, and painful.  Does chemo make you heal slower?  I heard that you cannot recieve it twice, so if you get BC again you cannot have chemo.  Are these things true?  ]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Keep the Faith: The Results of My First Chemo Treatment]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8027</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8027</guid><description><![CDATA[Hey!

Well I am back! I was very lucky to not have any side effects from the chemo yet. I just saw that I had 3 comments urging me to get my prescriptions filled and ,well OK I had them filled, so not to worry.

In case you are wondering how it all went it was not bad at all. My mother and I went to the St. Luke's Roosevelt on Thursday, April 9th and upon our 8:30 am arrival checked in and went straight to the Infusion Suite.  Surprisingly, there was already one women in there she was a bit older maybe 50-55 and she was already receiving ..SOMETHING intravenously and enjoying a cup of yogurt. The suite was bare and we chose a reclining chair in a quiet corner. It wasn't long before Kaitoirina (sp?) my nurse came over to explain the process of my chemo and the fact that it would take 1 1/2- 2 hours or so.

Initially, I had an IV drip of water (saline sol to flush out my system and make my body ready for the 2 drugs I was to receive. Based on the fact that I had been pricked with needles (3) this week from the PET CT, MRI( which I forgot to write about) and my MUGA tests the veins in my left arm were no good. After the first drug of Doxorubicin was administered it started to feel warmer than it should going up my veins and I got a pink itchy feel on my forearm, so the nurse had to stop. She had only gotten through the first injection. They called my doctor and found that they could administer it through my right arm which is the side where the breast cancer is. However, since I have not had any lymph nodes surgically removed it was OK.

Soon after my second drug of Cyclophosphamide was given through an IV and before I knew it , it was all over. I took a few pics in the beginning that I will post in a photo album elsewhere on the site. My mother waited with me for most of it, and the times she was away I read Vogue Magazine.  I nt the itnerim a hand massage was offered to me by a therapist which was great! She rubbed my hands with soy cream nd left me with a calender of support groups and Wellness Programs.  Free aerobics classes, Reiki etc. are offered throughout the month every month, this is all very, very encouraging.

My session ended with a shot of Lupron which will stop my eggs from being released every month! No more period..YAYYY. No not really, I do not want this to be permanent, so lets pray that when the time to come off Lupron comes my eggs will flow again nice & healthy like.

So, in a nutshell that is it! The whole experience was pleasant..NEW  but pleasant.
I 'll be ready to go back in 2 weeks! FYI the Lupron shot into my butt! Um..this really "IS" NEW  to me!]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Breat Cancer Diagnosis]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8026</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8026</guid><description><![CDATA[I felt my first lumps when I was 34 years old.  I went to my primary care physician and he told me to have a "baseline mammogram" sometime that year.  I was concerned, so I had it within a two weeks.  The report came back that I had a "mass", so I had an ultrasound.  That showed "two cystic" regions.  I was told it was nothing  to worry about, "too young for breast cancer."  I was told to return in one year.  I also felt another lump in that year.  I went to the doctor and he ordered an ultrasound.  I had the ultrasound and was told that I had another cyst.  I was told to have a mammogram.  I asked my doctor why a a mammogram?  Shouldn't I have an aspiration or biopsy.  He said no.  He reassured me that I was Fibrocysistic.  He told me to come back in one year.  I went back and had another ultrasound.  I was told there was a change in one of my cysts.  I asked the dr if it was still considered a cyst. He said yes.  Well, finally a biopsy was done.  I had three cancerous tumors.  It was in 3/4 of my breast and I had two positive nodes.  I had chemotherapy, mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation, tamoxifin, zoladex, ovary removal, and am now on Femera.  I'm doing great!!
Since I went to the same dr. three years in a row and had the same radiologist read my films three years in a row, I filed a malpractice case and won.  It was not at all about the money to me.  It was about doctors that don't pay attention to their patients concerns.  Why reassure someone they don't have cancer rather than ruling it out by tests?  I asked for tests and was refused!
The slogan "Early Detection Saves Lives" bothers me.  I and many other women follow the recommendations for early detectioin, but some of our doctors don't.
]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[post lumpectomy]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8025</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8025</guid><description><![CDATA[Here I am-one week post lumpectomy and I have been amazed at how easy recovery has been!  I feel good and with exception of occasional ache under my arm from the sentinel node biopsy I have no pain.  Of course the fact that my whole breast feels like it's been shot up with novicaine (spelling?) might be a factor in that! I'm hoping I regain sensation at some point.  So-physically I am good, emotionally, well here's that roller coaster I'm learning to deal with.  Pathology reports showed that all of my lymph nodes came back negative--so that is AWESOME.  However---my margins were not clear so we are probably looking at more surgery.  I keep thinking-did I waste my time with lumpectomy?  I should have just gone all the way for mastectomy from day one and been done!  But at the time that idea scared me.  Now I feel like I made a stupid decision,  and it was a TOUGH one to make.  I knew going into it that there would be a chance the margins would not be clear and I would have to go back in, but I guess I just hoped that "wouldn't be me".  Well, I will see my surgeon next week and we will discuss the next steps.  I hate not knowing what my full plan is--so I can't wait to get to the stage that I am meeting with the oncologists and planning out a course of treatment.  As laid back and spontaneous as I can be--that is not the case with all of this.  I am definitely learning that i am the type that needs to have it ALL mapped out in front of me.  So as much as I feel like it has been a whirlwind since March 3rd(diagnosis day), I also feel like it has been very drawn out and I just want to move on to the next step!  Did I mention the word roller coaster already?  lol
Well, enough for today--I vented]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Keep The Faith: Chemo Begins Today!]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8024</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8024</guid><description><![CDATA[Hi!

Well and so it goes, this morning at 8:30 am begins my first chemo treatment. It is now 1:30 am in the morning and like many nights when I have not gone out I am have just awaken from an evening nap & blogging away.  I have to admit I am a little NERVOUS.  Yesterday, Wednesday April 9th was my final test  called a MUGA, which is performed to determine how my heart will respond to the very strong chemicals I will receive in chemo ( Doxorubicin and Cyclophoshamide). Blood was drawn and then mixed with various chemicals and then re-injected into my body.  I was then hooked up to an EKG machine while a Nuclear Medical Technician monitored my heart, afterwards he took photos of my heart with a Gama machine.

As far as what to expect from my chemo treatment...not sure. My mother will be with me in the infusion suite and I believe I will be there with an IV drip for approximately 2-3 hours.  I have been speaking by phone to a colleague who has recently just finished up 3 years of treatment and who now has a clean bill of health. She is a fierce downtown fashion PR chick who is younger than I am by about 4 years. She was diagnosed at 30! She has given LOTS of support and info on the treatment process as a whole. She explained, NO vitamins during treatment and the importnace of why I should not get pregnant during my recovery- more on her another time she is FABULOUS.

In any event, I have yet to fill my 2 prescriptions for my nausea medication, yes I am expected to be ill after a few sessions. I am hoping I will be OK and will not have to fill them. Oh well, back to my handy booklet Chemotherapy  & You, I will be reading that and taking in much more upon my first visit to the suite.

Wish me luck & will let you know how it all goes.....]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Waiting....]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8023</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8023</guid><description><![CDATA[The waiting, and the research while waiting was/became a blur for over a month. Many doctor visits in preparation for surgery kept me busy along with work, but March 19th couldn't get here fast enough. I wanted this over and done with! I read anything and everything I could find concerning treatment options for my type of cancer so I could make a well informed decision I could live with. I never asked another soul their advice, as I wanted this to be MY decision. In the end my husband said "it all comes down to what YOU can live with", and those were very profound words. I couldn't LIVE with it....it being the possibility that it could recur if I didn't simply choose to give up a part of my body that most women identify themselves/their sexuality with, but a part I felt I could live without. I made the decision for bilateral skin sparing masectomy with reconstruction immediatly. Now to simply wait for the process to begin.]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Radiation]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8022</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8022</guid><description><![CDATA[This has been the most difficult time of my life having to face Breast Cancer and I was one of the lucky ones that it was caught in the early stages but i still had to have a lumpectomy and radiation and its been very difficult to handle in my mind. I don't have alot of people to talk to righ now that would know what i am going through they can say they understand but they really do not. I fill like sometimes i am going crazy and just want to cry all day long. But dont get me wrong i am very thankful this was caught early and i dont have to do chemo thank god but i just can't find it in my mind to accept that i have cancer. I have always been afraid of getting breast cancer and here it is starring me in the face right now and i dont know how to deal with it. But i will find the strength somehow to get through this and go on with my life. I need to find someone who has DCIS and see if they are going through the same feelings that i am so if your out there please let me know.....thanks]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Just Getting Started]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8021</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8021</guid><description><![CDATA[I found the lump a week ago while doing my monthly self exam.  I went to the doctor, who confirmed it.
Yesterday was the mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy.  They found another lump close to the one I found and they found one in my armpit.  So far, it's only the right breast that is affected.
My daughter and son-in-law were there with me as I heard the news.  We all cried, we still cry.  Friends have come forward to offer help and moral support.  I have so many cyber friends that are here if I need them.
Next up is the MRI and finally meeting my surgeon, radiologist and oncologist.  I do not know what Stage I am in.  I am frightened.
But, I will take this one hurdle at a time.  I survived a brutal rape and beating last year.  I will get thru this too.]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Favorite Breast Cancer Quote]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8018</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8018</guid><description><![CDATA[Breast Cancer and Chemotherapy, Took away her crown and glory
She promised God if she was to survive, She would enjoy everyday of her life
On national television, Her diamond eyes are sparkling
Bald headed like a full moon shining, Singing out to the whole wide world like...

I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no no
I am not my hair 
I am not this skin 
I am a soul that lives within]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[The beginning of the next part of my life.]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8017</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8017</guid><description><![CDATA[In January of 2008 I had my usual mammogram. Wasn't concerned until I was called back for "more pictures" as they say. I was reassured several times by warm and caring nurses, who must have seen the terror in my eyes, that this was very common and to try to remain calm. Yeah right!!! I had my extra pictures done, and was told they found something. I was told they thought it may simply be calcifications, but if they did a biopsy they would know for sure. Now came 4 weeks of waiting until the biopsy day. 4 weeks of hell! The stereostactic (?) biopsy was a much more positive experience then I expected. The nurses were kind, warm, comforting, informative and there for ME! I had a back rub, warm blankets, and polite casual conversation the entire time. I felt loved and cared for at a time when terror was picking at the back of my brain. My husband was outside sitting in the lobby wondering if all was well, and after the final mammogram pics and geting dressed and being sent on my way and meeting him outside in the lobby I saw the terror in HIS eyes. I felt then and there that this moment our lives would change forever.]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[I am so tired!]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8016</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8016</guid><description><![CDATA[I went to my reconstructive surgeon yesterday- I am thinking about the lat. flap with an implant, there are so many options! I am getting overwhelmed! 
I am so tired about making SO many decisions, I have enough of that everyday!
I am tired of crying alone!
I am tired of waking up everyday and having "cancer" being in the back of my mind!
AAARRRGGGH!
 I AM A STRONG PERSON-I AM A STRONG PERSON-I AM A STRONG PERSON]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Keep The Faith: The PET CT Scans]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8015</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8015</guid><description><![CDATA[Hey There!

A little delayed in posting, as this test was administered Friday April 4th at 9:30 am, so forgive me for being slow in my report.  Normally, a patient with breast cancer will have already had their Pet CT scans, which are actually (2) tests that to a layperson seem similar to an MRI or Catscan, but in my case I have had a bit of red tape,*** so I  had my Pet CT just this morning.

So after the initial paperwork at the radiology center, I began the process leading to the PET CT scans.  I was initially injected intravenously with a radio isotope called an FDG, once that was done I was then given a glucose drink (similar to a smoothie) called a Readi-Cat Sulfate Suspension Drink.  By drinking the Readi-Cat, the PET CT scan will pick up what parts of my insides that have been infected by the cancer, or show where the cancer has spread to.  This was explained to me by a radiographer (not radiologist) named Jim, who was very kind in  prepping me, before sticking a needle into my arm.

After taking  me to a relaxation room where I waited for 1 hour, for the glucose to properly travel through my body, I was ready for my test!  After being hoisted up on the scan table, I was told by a second radiogapher (forgot his name) that once a second IV solution was injected I would feel warm all over, even in the groin, and that I may feel like I had to urinate. Well, long story short, I did feel warm but I did not have  the urination feeling, thank God! Surprisingly the 20 minute scan was not too bad. I was able to stay fully dressed minus a bra as the scan table moved me back and forth slowly through the machine taking pics of my insides.

The results are not viewed by radiographers as they are tech guys not radiologists-- who are the actual doctors. So in a few days I will know the results which will assist my doctor in modifying or increasing my current treatments.

Will keep everyone posted on this front.

***red tape in, at the beginning of this process I was un-insured (I'm a blogger/freelance writer). Therefore, scheduling tests were not possible as payment has to be made upfront. My original mammogram, sonogram and core biopsy were paid out of pocket. Not being a wealthy woman I had to go apply for insurance...more on that one ANOTHER TIME.

]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Here I am...]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8014</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8014</guid><description><![CDATA[This web site is new for me.  Right now I'm a little too preoccupied to go into my story, but that will come soon.  I find it comforting to talk to people who have the same worries and fears as well as positive outlooks as myself.  I try to surround myself with optomists vs pessimists.  Life's too short not to be happy.  I like to try to be focused on the future instead of sadness of the past.  I look forward to meeting others on this site.
Until next time...Mary]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[MRI results]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8013</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8013</guid><description><![CDATA[Good news/probably not so good news from my MRI this week. No cancer in the brain, however, they found "abnormal signal intensity and enhancement within the C2 vertebral body, including the odontoid. In light of the history of BC, this finding is suspicious for bony metastasis to the odontoid" I'm having a bone scan today and an MRI of the neck on Monday. Guess I'm numb at this point - medical jargan too much to absorb right now, but does not sound good to me. I have an appt with my oncologist for the 9th when I do the Herceptin so guess we will go over all the results then. Anyone familiar with this? Thanks, Lori]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Avon Everyday BC help.]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8012</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8012</guid><description><![CDATA[I guess I never really thought about BC. Even though I knew my aunt (By marriage) had survived BC. I know a lot of people I see daily that have over come this obsticle. Yet, some how the impact never really hit until last year. My mother had her annual mammogram. There was a oddness. At first they thought it was just a mole which showed up funny. Then she had another but it wasn't the mole. Now she has went back after three months and it hasn't grown. If it stays that way for a year she's in the clear. But that isn't what brought it home. what really brought it home is the understanding..... That if she had cancer not only would I have to start getting screened but when my Daughter got older she would have to be screened. So until recently I had never thought about helping anyone.....or anything. And now that I want to help I've noticed that locally my town does nothing!!! Nothing......so how could I help? I can help by promoting the BC Awareness Items availible from Avon. Anyone interested in helping that way please go to www.youravon.com/plute    You can purchase BC awareness Items or become a rep yourself to promote the items in your local towns.]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Avon Everyday BC help.]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8011</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8011</guid><description><![CDATA[I guess I never really thought about BC. Even though I knew my aunt (By marriage) had survived BC. I know a lot of people I see daily that have over come this obsticle. Yet, some how the impact never really hit until last year. My mother had her annual mammogram. There was a oddness. At first they thought it was just a mole which showed up funny. Then she had another but it wasn't the mole. Now she has went back after three months and it hasn't grown. If it stays that way for a year she's in the clear. But that isn't what brought it home. what really brought it home is the understanding..... That if she had cancer not only would I have to start getting screened but when my Daughter got older she would have to be screened. So until recently I had never thought about helping anyone.....or anything. And now that I want to help I've noticed that locally my town does nothing!!! Nothing......so how could I help? I can help by promoting the BC Awareness Items availible from Avon. Anyone interested in helping that way please go to www.youravon.com/plute    You can purchase BC awareness Items or become a rep yourself to promote the items in your local towns.]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[I have been here almost a year now ]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8010</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8010</guid><description><![CDATA[Alot of u know me ive been here long enough !!! I was diagnosed june 2007. I was on the roller coaster ride by july. I remember the dr saying to me with tears running down my face ( this will be the worse year of your life but the rest will be like walking on cake) well now it is April and the flowers are sure blooming. When i first found out i couldnt believe that i could ever get the c word i never was a sick person, i was mad so f mad. I shaved my head before the chemo treatment just to take control so i didnt have to watch the cancer take it. I had to look at chemo as my friend not my enemy because it was going to help kill this desease even though it was poison. I was diagnosed a stage 11b , estrogen positive , and i chose the most aggressive treatment because i had to many that loved me to take the chance of dieing from this. The dr plan was 4 a/c treatments then Taxater and then surgery last. Well that didnt happen i did the 4 a/c then did one of the tax and it about killed me so she took me straight to surgery. I had a full mast on the right side and all nods removed 5 out of 16 infected, now it is pretty bad when surgery is a break, gosh did it feel good now NOT to be  in chemo hell and i could taste and think again just for a little while. It didnt bother me as bad as i thought it would to loose part of me that made me a whole woman. But at this point it as well was part of keeping  me alive and cancer free. 
Well back to the dr for more chemo now i did 6 treatments of taxatole of which i was allergic to but did anyway. God did i hurt and still do, ok great im being thrown into menapause and getting poisoned too poor hubby huh. This has been the hardest thing i think i have ever done in my life and let me tell u i have been through some hard things, i was so tired of being tired, and just hurting all the time . just now being me of course i have forgot what normal is so even when they ask u anything u want to talk about new what do u say well today add on my knees hurt i cant get up. What does it matter you are just going to throw me a pain pill. I started at 135 pounds now i am 165 ( thanks steroids ) for making me want to eat anything and everything in the house. I hated myself through the chemo because i was so snappy at everyone, no one could really understand what all of this feels like unless uhave been here. Everyone says u r not alone but u sure feel like u are even with family around u. Well my new beg has started thank you lord. I am done with chemo, surgery and on to raditaiton and then the pill. I HAVE SURVIVED , I have survived and beat this desease i am so happy that i could bust. My margins are clean and the radiation will be nothing compared to what i have gone through. The last day i walk out of radiation i will kiss the ground and say Thank you God for the blessings that u have given me. I will look at a new grandbabies face in the beg of june and i will watch him grow. Thank u God. So for u that have just been diagnosed or that are in the middle of climbing this mt that is so high i want u to know if i did it u can. As i sit here with a huge vase of pink and white carnations and can look out side at the flowers blooming i can only think of the fight i had and the way i feel now the peace that overwhelms me and the compasion that i have learned from something so evil...love and support Wanda
]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[I have been here almost a year now ]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8009</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8009</guid><description><![CDATA[Alot of u know me ive been here long enough !!! I was diagnosed june 2007. I was on the roller coaster ride by july. I remember the dr saying to me with tears running down my face ( this will be the worse year of your life but the rest will be like walking on cake) well now it is April and the flowers are sure blooming. When i first found out i couldnt believe that i could ever get the c word i never was a sick person, i was mad so f mad. I shaved my head before the chemo treatment just to take control so i didnt have to watch the cancer take it. I had to look at chemo as my friend not my enemy because it was going to help kill this desease even though it was poison. I was diagnosed a stage 11b , estrogen positive , and i chose the most aggressive treatment because i had to many that loved me to take the chance of dieing from this. The dr plan was 4 a/c treatments then Taxater and then surgery last. Well that didnt happen i did the 4 a/c then did one of the tax and it about killed me so she took me straight to surgery. I had a full mast on the right side and all nods removed 5 out of 16 infected, now it is pretty bad when surgery is a break, gosh did it feel good now NOT to be  in chemo hell and i could taste and think again just for a little while. It didnt bother me as bad as i thought it would to loose part of me that made me a whole woman. But at this point it as well was part of keeping  me alive and cancer free. 
Well back to the dr for more chemo now i did 6 treatments of taxatole of which i was allergic to but did anyway. God did i hurt and still do, ok great im being thrown into menapause and getting poisoned too poor hubby huh. This has been the hardest thing i think i have ever done in my life and let me tell u i have been through some hard things, i was so tired of being tired, and just hurting all the time . just now being me of course i have forgot what normal is so even when they ask u anything u want to talk about new what do u say well today add on my knees hurt i cant get up. What does it matter you are just going to throw me a pain pill. I started at 135 pounds now i am 165 ( thanks steroids ) for making me want to eat anything and everything in the house. I hated myself through the chemo because i was so snappy at everyone, no one could really understand what all of this feels like unless uhave been here. Everyone says u r not alone but u sure feel like u are even with family around u. Well my new beg has started thank you lord. I am done with chemo, surgery and on to raditaiton and then the pill. I HAVE SURVIVED , I have survived and beat this desease i am so happy that i could bust. My margins are clean and the radiation will be nothing compared to what i have gone through. The last day i walk out of radiation i will kiss the ground and say Thank you God for the blessings that u have given me. I will look at a new grandbabies face in the beg of june and i will watch him grow. Thank u God. So for u that have just been diagnosed or that are in the middle of climbing this mt that is so high i want u to know if i did it u can. As i sit here with a huge vase of pink and white carnations and can look out side at the flowers blooming i can only think of the fight i had and the way i feel now the peace that overwhelms me and the compasion that i have learned from something so evil...love and support Wanda
]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[I have been here almost a year now ]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8008</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8008</guid><description><![CDATA[Alot of u know me ive been here long enough !!! I was diagnosed june 2007. I was on the roller coaster ride by july. I remember the dr saying to me with tears running down my face ( this will be the worse year of your life but the rest will be like walking on cake) well now it is April and the flowers are sure blooming. When i first found out i couldnt believe that i could ever get the c word i never was a sick person, i was mad so f mad. I shaved my head before the chemo treatment just to take control so i didnt have to watch the cancer take it. I had to look at chemo as my friend not my enemy because it was going to help kill this desease even though it was poison. I was diagnosed a stage 11b , estrogen positive , and i chose the most aggressive treatment because i had to many that loved me to take the chance of dieing from this. The dr plan was 4 a/c treatments then Taxater and then surgery last. Well that didnt happen i did the 4 a/c then did one of the tax and it about killed me so she took me straight to surgery. I had a full mast on the right side and all nods removed 5 out of 16 infected, now it is pretty bad when surgery is a break, gosh did it feel good now NOT to be  in chemo hell and i could taste and think again just for a little while. It didnt bother me as bad as i thought it would to loose part of me that made me a whole woman. But at this point it as well was part of keeping  me alive and cancer free. 
Well back to the dr for more chemo now i did 6 treatments of taxatole of which i was allergic to but did anyway. God did i hurt and still do, ok great im being thrown into menapause and getting poisoned too poor hubby huh. This has been the hardest thing i think i have ever done in my life and let me tell u i have been through some hard things, i was so tired of being tired, and just hurting all the time . just now being me of course i have forgot what normal is so even when they ask u anything u want to talk about new what do u say well today add on my knees hurt i cant get up. What does it matter you are just going to throw me a pain pill. I started at 135 pounds now i am 165 ( thanks steroids ) for making me want to eat anything and everything in the house. I hated myself through the chemo because i was so snappy at everyone, no one could really understand what all of this feels like unless uhave been here. Everyone says u r not alone but u sure feel like u are even with family around u. Well my new beg has started thank you lord. I am done with chemo, surgery and on to raditaiton and then the pill. I HAVE SURVIVED , I have survived and beat this desease i am so happy that i could bust. My margins are clean and the radiation will be nothing compared to what i have gone through. The last day i walk out of radiation i will kiss the ground and say Thank you God for the blessings that u have given me. I will look at a new grandbabies face in the beg of june and i will watch him grow. Thank u God. So for u that have just been diagnosed or that are in the middle of climbing this mt that is so high i want u to know if i did it u can. As i sit here with a huge vase of pink and white carnations and can look out side at the flowers blooming i can only think of the fight i had and the way i feel now the peace that overwhelms me and the compasion that i have learned from something so evil...love and support Wanda
]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Mart's storey]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8006</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8006</guid><description><![CDATA[My story started when I was called back the day after my yearly routine screening mammogram  on 2/21/08. The radiology department asked that I come back for a diagnostic mammogram and ultra sound of my left breast. The additional imaging confirmed a small solid mass and a biopsy was recommended. I met with a surgeon and a biopsy was set up for 3/11/08. I had a wire guide  placed by ultra sound prior to the biopsy surgery so the correct tissue could be removed. The pathology report was positive for invasive ductal carcinoma, the tumor size being  1.2cm, grade 1/slow growing, but did not show clear margins. I opted for a lumpectomy and  sentinel node  biopsy on 3/19 with radiation to be scheduled after  I healed. I had also signed for axillary lymph node dissection if the frozen section on the sentinel node had been positive.
 However, again the  pathology report did not show clean margins, although the node tested was negative for  cancer cells.. Further lumpectomy would compromise the breast circulation.  I had a mastectomy on 3/28/08 which did indicate clear margins. Pathology also indicates I am ER and PR positive; HER-2 negative.  On Friday, 4/7 I will have a bone scan and CT of the chest and abdomen; on 4/14, an MRI of the brain for staging before I meet with an
 Oncologist to decide if further treatment is needed.
I have one practical concern. I still have a drainage tube. When I saw the surgeon yesterday, I  was told to keep lumpy areas at each end of the incision draining,,,like How? I do massage these areas toward the center of the incision but they do not go away.
My other concern is that I wonder if a single negative sentinel node was enough to be sure there is no node involvement.]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[surgery]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8005</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8005</guid><description><![CDATA[I am going in for my lumpectomy on Friday and have to admit I am a bit nervous.  Not so much about the surgery itself, but about what the results of the surgery and node biopsy will find.  My lump was found very early so there  is a good chance it has not spread, but can anyone really say they aren't worried? I know I will need radiation treatments, but I do pray there will be no chemo.  If there is- I will cope, after all God only gives us what we can handle right?  But still---one can hope for the easier road...]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Keep the Faith: Chemo Therapy is Quite an Undertaking....]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8004</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8004</guid><description><![CDATA[Hello,

I am not quite sure what I was expecting to hear when I finally met with my oncologist to get the specifics on my course of treatment, which drugs I will be given, and when etc. BUT I was not expecting this.

Basically, beginning Thursday April 10th, 2008.*** I am going to go through 8 sessions of chemo, that is every two weeks, for 4 months. After the chemo I should be ready for surgery which will hopefully be a successful removal of my cyst. Following the surgery I will go back into 4 more months of chemo and radiation to make sure all of the cancer cells are gone.

There is a LOT more but those are the basics.  I will be receiving my chemo via an IV which means a needle will be inserted into my arm upon each visit to the Infusion Suite (that is the name of the chemo area at St. Luke's Roosevelt) and it will go on for 2- 3 hours....YIPES! The book I was given called Chemotherapy & You by The National Breast Cancer Institute, gives all sorts of "what to expect info" as well as how to deal with side effects--nausea, diarrhea etc... DOUBLE YIPES!

The worst part is my cancer is 'fairly advanced' and I am lucky, that at this point, my breast can be saved.  I was told there is a 50% chance of re-occurrence in my case. I was given several prescriptions including one for a wig! Yes, I will lose my hair.  Additionally, I received my written referrals for final tests before my therapy.  I was also informed that I will be on a very strong medication (have to look up the exact name) that will prevent me from getting pregnant for 5 years.

This not only concerns me but makes me SAD, even if my eggs were to survive chemo a pregnancy would increase my estrogen levels and hurt the cancer recovery process.

I want 3 little ones very badly, so pray for me.

***That gives me 1 last week of PURE freedom to be a regular "on the go" chick!]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[New Cancer?]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8002</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8002</guid><description><![CDATA[To make a long story short, I had a lump removed from both breasts May of 07, 6 rounds of chemo and 33 radiation treatments which ended first week of Jan 08. Still taking Herceptin every 3 weeks until end of July 08. I've been experiencing pain in the back of my head, base of my neck, down my spine and across my shoulder blades for going on 2 weeks. Blood tests showed nothing so will have an MRI of the brain and brain stem tomorrow. Scared to death is an understatement. Anyone have any experience like this? Wonder why a PET scan was not down when I completed radiation, is that "normal"? Again, anyone out there with some info? Thanks so much, Lori]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Keep the Faith: Hello World!]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8001</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/8001</guid><description><![CDATA[Hi,

This is my first "official post" to my journal here at the National Breast Cancer Foundation site.  I am very EXCITED.  I was first diagnosed on February 27th of this year with breast cancer.  So much has happened to me since. I should have blogged about it all earlier but  I have had reservations as to if I wanted to share my story or not.  Recently I have decided to share, because I feel that what I have been through could help others understand not only Breast Cancer but the health care system in our country in general.

Today is my very first oncology appointment, after a bit of red tape, I am finally going to be able to know my exact course of treatment.  Like I mentioned earlier I was diagnosed on February 27th, so there is LOTS more to tell, but I need to break now to get ready for my oncology appointment.

Will return again shortly!
]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[New years. R.I.P Mommy.]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7997</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7997</guid><description><![CDATA[[Begining:Mom was brought to the hosp Christmas day and i never got to say merry christmas or anything to her nor see her... last time i spent a real day with her was chrsitmas eve. I did see her once and she was awake.. and the only thing she could say or would say was I love you baby and kissed me.]

[[Ending]]
I was sick. I tried to sleep a bit, but i couldnt.
I tried to not think of my mom that much as she was sittin in the hospital’s ICU since christmas morning..
I woke up at 10am.
Then my aunt came in crying...saying how she got a phone call n said mommy wont be makin it.
I just sat there n starred, i couldnt cry...
So i got dressed n junk and went to my grandpa’s n starred at him.. I couldnt say anything. 
My cousin Bill was trying to encourage me but then he just would cry. 
We zoomed up to the hospital. The whole ride my aunt was tellin me to be strong cuz "mommy doesnt look like her self" [Kidney, liver failures, and interal bleeding]
We get there......rush to the ICU as i saw my cousin who just went to say goodbye [mel].
Nurse comes out n looks at me and says are u sure. i freaked out and said " Yah its my mommy" i started to cry.
My aunt tells me to tell her everything i will be doing in the furture. 
So i told my mom that imma gradutate and go to college and i will make her proud no matter what.
I wouldnt let go of her hand. 
I just kept Repeating " Mommy i love u, please dont leave me now" bout 100 times.
Then the nurse kept asking where my uncle was and my dad. 
Which was makin me pretty pissed off.
I held her hand/arm for dear life, I couldnt let go of her.. 
I reassured her that she did everything right for me and i was proud of her and she was so strong and some of the memories then whispered you are my sunshine. 
Then told her that i know she loved me and i was just gonna miss her and to tell papa i loved him.
No lie i kept saying I i still needed her and would wipe the blood off her nose and ears and cry on her arm....
So later my uncle and aunt come in and then dad n torey. 
My uncle was screaming! Right there i was like holy shit my mommy’s leavin me.
My uncle kept repeating "Not my sister Not my sister" 
This was there 2nd loss of breast cancer..[ there mom died]
My entire family was all around! everyone!!! I really never thought they'd be there as she died. 
Torey was holding on to me.
My mom kept dying and comin back for five min and uncle jeff goes "nancy stop fighting it’ll be ok!" and my dad put his arm on her shoulder and goes "Boop will be ok nan just go its ok!" he was crying his damn eyes out! [divorced]
Right as my dad said "its ok" she died.
I just kept screaming "mommy no i want my mommy."
My Dad and i stood n the room for a long time.
Jackie snuck liam in to say goodbye. lol he had no idea really that she had died.
I was gonna jump on her but i didnt know if i should or not. lol
I cleaned up some of the blood off her face, and some of the junk under her eyes. 
Then took off her Pink braclet and put it on my right arm like she had it.
i said good bye n gave her millions of kisses and hugged her n told her i loved her more than anything and said how she was the bestest mommy ever.
We walk out of the shitty hospital.... I saw the most gorgeous sunset!!! Pink Orange Purple!! omg it was so pretty. 
I just smiled and whispered have fun and that i loved her! 

I never pictured me being there for my own mommy’s death...
I always thought i’d find her in boca in her room or something
But i felt so releaved to tell her that everything is ok and it will be.
We have a bond that no one will ever understand. Seriously.


On the way to my grandpa’s.....this is what liam said

Liam:"Brenna why were u crying?"
Brenna:"Remember Nancy?"
Liam:"YEAH!" *smiles*
Brenna:"Well.....she’s in the clouds."
Liam:"With baby jesus??"
Brenna:"Yeah but he isnt a baby ne more"
Torey:"OOOH Jesus in a tuxedo!" < -- a joke she said. 
Liam:*Puts head down and pouted*
Brenna:"Its ok bubba"
Liam:".....you dont have a mommy anymore?"
Brenna:"Nope, i dont have a mommy"
Liam:"I’m soooooo sorrrry" *hugs me* 
Liam:"What cloud is she in??" *looks*
Brenna:*Picks some strange one.* 

Thats my 4 year old brother! ]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[New years. R.I.P Mommy.]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7996</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7996</guid><description><![CDATA[[Begining:Mom was brought to the hosp Christmas day and i never got to say merry christmas or anything to her nor see her... last time i spent a real day with her was chrsitmas eve. I did see her once and she was awake.. and the only thing she could say or would say was I love you baby and kissed me.]

[[Ending]]
I was sick. I tried to sleep a bit, but i couldnt.
I tried to not think of my mom that much as she was sittin in the hospital’s ICU since christmas morning..
I woke up at 10am.
Then my aunt came in crying...saying how she got a phone call n said mommy wont be makin it.
I just sat there n starred, i couldnt cry...
So i got dressed n junk and went to my grandpa’s n starred at him.. I couldnt say anything. 
My cousin Bill was trying to encourage me but then he just would cry. 
We zoomed up to the hospital. The whole ride my aunt was tellin me to be strong cuz "mommy doesnt look like her self" [Kidney, liver failures, and interal bleeding]
We get there......rush to the ICU as i saw my cousin who just went to say goodbye [mel].
Nurse comes out n looks at me and says are u sure. i freaked out and said " Yah its my mommy" i started to cry.
My aunt tells me to tell her everything i will be doing in the furture. 
So i told my mom that imma gradutate and go to college and i will make her proud no matter what.
I wouldnt let go of her hand. 
I just kept Repeating " Mommy i love u, please dont leave me now" bout 100 times.
Then the nurse kept asking where my uncle was and my dad. 
Which was makin me pretty pissed off.
I held her hand/arm for dear life, I couldnt let go of her.. 
I reassured her that she did everything right for me and i was proud of her and she was so strong and some of the memories then whispered you are my sunshine. 
Then told her that i know she loved me and i was just gonna miss her and to tell papa i loved him.
No lie i kept saying I i still needed her and would wipe the blood off her nose and ears and cry on her arm....
So later my uncle and aunt come in and then dad n torey. 
My uncle was screaming! Right there i was like holy shit my mommy’s leavin me.
My uncle kept repeating "Not my sister Not my sister" 
This was there 2nd loss of breast cancer..[ there mom died]
My entire family was all around! everyone!!! I really never thought they'd be there as she died. 
Torey was holding on to me.
My mom kept dying and comin back for five min and uncle jeff goes "nancy stop fighting it’ll be ok!" and my dad put his arm on her shoulder and goes "Boop will be ok nan just go its ok!" he was crying his damn eyes out! [divorced]
Right as my dad said "its ok" she died.
I just kept screaming "mommy no i want my mommy."
My Dad and i stood n the room for a long time.
Jackie snuck liam in to say goodbye. lol he had no idea really that she had died.
I was gonna jump on her but i didnt know if i should or not. lol
I cleaned up some of the blood off her face, and some of the junk under her eyes. 
Then took off her Pink braclet and put it on my right arm like she had it.
i said good bye n gave her millions of kisses and hugged her n told her i loved her more than anything and said how she was the bestest mommy ever.
We walk out of the shitty hospital.... I saw the most gorgeous sunset!!! Pink Orange Purple!! omg it was so pretty. 
I just smiled and whispered have fun and that i loved her! 

I never pictured me being there for my own mommy’s death...
I always thought i’d find her in boca in her room or something
But i felt so releaved to tell her that everything is ok and it will be.
We have a bond that no one will ever understand. Seriously.


On the way to my grandpa’s.....this is what liam said

Liam:"Brenna why were u crying?"
Brenna:"Remember Nancy?"
Liam:"YEAH!" *smiles*
Brenna:"Well.....she’s in the clouds."
Liam:"With baby jesus??"
Brenna:"Yeah but he isnt a baby ne more"
Torey:"OOOH Jesus in a tuxedo!" < -- a joke she said. 
Liam:*Puts head down and pouted*
Brenna:"Its ok bubba"
Liam:".....you dont have a mommy anymore?"
Brenna:"Nope, i dont have a mommy"
Liam:"I’m soooooo sorrrry" *hugs me* 
Liam:"What cloud is she in??" *looks*
Brenna:*Picks some strange one.* 

Thats my 4 year old brother! ]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[New years. R.I.P Mommy.]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7995</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7995</guid><description><![CDATA[[Begining:Mom was brought to the hosp Christmas day and i never got to say merry christmas or anything to her nor see her... last time i spent a real day with her was chrsitmas eve. I did see her once and she was awake.. and the only thing she could say or would say was I love you baby and kissed me.]

[[Ending]]
I was sick. I tried to sleep a bit, but i couldnt.
I tried to not think of my mom that much as she was sittin in the hospital’s ICU since christmas morning..
I woke up at 10am.
Then my aunt came in crying...saying how she got a phone call n said mommy wont be makin it.
I just sat there n starred, i couldnt cry...
So i got dressed n junk and went to my grandpa’s n starred at him.. I couldnt say anything. 
My cousin Bill was trying to encourage me but then he just would cry. 
We zoomed up to the hospital. The whole ride my aunt was tellin me to be strong cuz "mommy doesnt look like her self" [Kidney, liver failures, and interal bleeding]
We get there......rush to the ICU as i saw my cousin who just went to say goodbye [mel].
Nurse comes out n looks at me and says are u sure. i freaked out and said " Yah its my mommy" i started to cry.
My aunt tells me to tell her everything i will be doing in the furture. 
So i told my mom that imma gradutate and go to college and i will make her proud no matter what.
I wouldnt let go of her hand. 
I just kept Repeating " Mommy i love u, please dont leave me now" bout 100 times.
Then the nurse kept asking where my uncle was and my dad. 
Which was makin me pretty pissed off.
I held her hand/arm for dear life, I couldnt let go of her.. 
I reassured her that she did everything right for me and i was proud of her and she was so strong and some of the memories then whispered you are my sunshine. 
Then told her that i know she loved me and i was just gonna miss her and to tell papa i loved him.
No lie i kept saying I i still needed her and would wipe the blood off her nose and ears and cry on her arm....
So later my uncle and aunt come in and then dad n torey. 
My uncle was screaming! Right there i was like holy shit my mommy’s leavin me.
My uncle kept repeating "Not my sister Not my sister" 
This was there 2nd loss of breast cancer..[ there mom died]
My entire family was all around! everyone!!! I really never thought they'd be there as she died. 
Torey was holding on to me.
My mom kept dying and comin back for five min and uncle jeff goes "nancy stop fighting it’ll be ok!" and my dad put his arm on her shoulder and goes "Boop will be ok nan just go its ok!" he was crying his damn eyes out! [divorced]
Right as my dad said "its ok" she died.
I just kept screaming "mommy no i want my mommy."
My Dad and i stood n the room for a long time.
Jackie snuck liam in to say goodbye. lol he had no idea really that she had died.
I was gonna jump on her but i didnt know if i should or not. lol
I cleaned up some of the blood off her face, and some of the junk under her eyes. 
Then took off her Pink braclet and put it on my right arm like she had it.
i said good bye n gave her millions of kisses and hugged her n told her i loved her more than anything and said how she was the bestest mommy ever.
We walk out of the shitty hospital.... I saw the most gorgeous sunset!!! Pink Orange Purple!! omg it was so pretty. 
I just smiled and whispered have fun and that i loved her! 

I never pictured me being there for my own mommy’s death...
I always thought i’d find her in boca in her room or something
But i felt so releaved to tell her that everything is ok and it will be.
We have a bond that no one will ever understand. Seriously.


On the way to my grandpa’s.....this is what liam said

Liam:"Brenna why were u crying?"
Brenna:"Remember Nancy?"
Liam:"YEAH!" *smiles*
Brenna:"Well.....she’s in the clouds."
Liam:"With baby jesus??"
Brenna:"Yeah but he isnt a baby ne more"
Torey:"OOOH Jesus in a tuxedo!" < -- a joke she said. 
Liam:*Puts head down and pouted*
Brenna:"Its ok bubba"
Liam:".....you dont have a mommy anymore?"
Brenna:"Nope, i dont have a mommy"
Liam:"I’m soooooo sorrrry" *hugs me* 
Liam:"What cloud is she in??" *looks*
Brenna:*Picks some strange one.* 

Thats my 4 year old brother! ]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[I'm Rare]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7994</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7994</guid><description><![CDATA[Will try to make this short: October 2006 diagnosed with breast cancer on the right - level 3, stage 4.  Had double masectomy along with implants at the same time.  Whatever the estrogen thing means it was negative.  All lymph nodes were removed as well.  Went through chemo, 33 radiation treatments.  Had alot of healing issues during my reconstruction and had to have several more surgeries.  Almost a year to the day this past October, my plastic surgeon noticed a lesion on the right and did a biopsy.  It came back as cancer as well.  While in my surgeon's office for the biopsy, she notice several little places on the left.  Turns out they were cancer too.  I immediately had surgery to remove implants and as much of skin was removed as possible.  At that time they discovered that it was in 3 lymph nodes so they removed 6.  This time the estrogen was positive.  My doctors told me it was very rare for it to come back so quickly and in the chest wall area.  I was put on Tomoxafin and had another 33 radiation treatments (this time on the left).  Just last Tuesday had another biopsy done as some of the places on my chest were not healing as quickly as my radiation doctor thought.  Again, removed a place from the right, the left and wound area.  All came back cancer again - this time estrogen negative.  I have an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow and at the request of my surgeon and family I am being scheduled to go to Chapel Hill, NC for an opinion from their surgeons and possibly going to Duke to see an oncologist there.  Needless to say I doubt there is anyone around that has had this same thing happen or maybe there is.  If so I'd sure like to hear from you.  I have faith in God and know that I am in his hands.  However, I still have fear (sometimes it's overwhelming).  I have 3 children and a husband that I am trying to be strong for and do whatever I have to do.  Get very depressed at times, feel like giving up, but I know I can't.  Thanks to anyone that takes the time to read this.   ]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Another Surgery]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7993</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7993</guid><description><![CDATA[Well, here I go again for another surgery.  I will be having my ovaries removed on Wednesday.  This is because of the BRCA1, I tested positive.  This will be my forth surgery within 1 yr.  I'm getting tired of all of this, I just want to scream.  I know this is what I need to do to continue my journey to healing, but I hate being sick:(.

Thank you for all your support and prayers.

Adriana]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[New found freedom ]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7992</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7992</guid><description><![CDATA[Since having my bilateral (no reconstruction) on Feb. 26th, I have gone from worry and fear to the feeling of relief....went to have my three drains removed on March 7th and was given the wonderful news that pathology report came back clear... 0/13 nodes, breasts benign.  I was cancer free!  I can now begin my new life!  Even though I am still very sore from surgery, I feel that a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  Radiation will begin the 14th of April, so journey is not over yet; however, by my calculations I should be finished the week before Memorial Day weekend.....what a way to start off the summer!!!  A big thank you to my surgeon and her staff and also to my oncologist...who I feel saved my life!!!  The center I went to had such a wonderful staff and oncology nurses who were very compassionate and caring.  To them, my friends and family and all my bc sisters that have helped me in so many ways.....I THANK YOU!!!!  God Bless each and every one of you!  ]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Needing support]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7991</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7991</guid><description><![CDATA[My 42 y/o sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of years ago and had her right breast removed.  Recently since October she has been doing chemotherapy again and in December, it was discovered she had another tumor.  The past two weeks, she has been having trouble breathing, so she was admitted to the hospital where she is currently residing.  The cancer has spread and has completely filled her plural cavity and has moved now into her lungs. She is on 10/lpm oxygen. Her options....start chemo again & have 5-6 weeks of life in the hospital, or go home under Hospice care and die at home, living day by day.  She chose to start chemo last Friday in hopes it would help her breathing.  It hasn't.  She is quite the fighter.  I cannot imagine what she is going through.  We send prayers to her & my brother every day. We know she only has a matter of days left in her.  It's such a sad time these days knowing this.  With her being so young & such a fighter, yet she still can't seem to conquer this nasty disease. I'm asking for more prayers for her & my brother & our families.  Thank you for taking time to read and for your prayers. ]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Needing support]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7990</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7990</guid><description><![CDATA[My 42 y/o sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of years ago and had her right breast removed.  Recently since October she has been doing chemotherapy again and in December, it was discovered she had another tumor.  The past two weeks, she has been having trouble breathing, so she was admitted to the hospital where she is currently residing.  The cancer has spread and has completely filled her plural cavity and has moved now into her lungs. She is on 10/lpm oxygen. Her options....start chemo again & have 5-6 weeks of life in the hospital, or go home under Hospice care and die at home, living day by day.  She chose to start chemo last Friday in hopes it would help her breathing.  It hasn't.  She is quite the fighter.  I cannot imagine what she is going through.  We send prayers to her & my brother every day. We know she only has a matter of days left in her.  It's such a sad time these days knowing this.  With her being so young & such a fighter, yet she still can't seem to conquer this nasty disease. I'm asking for more prayers for her & my brother & our families.  Thank you for taking time to read and for your prayers. ]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[VENTING AGAIN ]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7989</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7989</guid><description><![CDATA[I am nervous enough about surgery monday yet the mother in law still insists on harping at me about how I seem to have a lot of aches and pains.  Well yes I do have pain its called being cut open many times and muscles not stretching like they use too.  Its an awful thought but I just wish just once she could walk in my shoes!!!!!  She is in her seventies and yes she is so set in her ways that everyone elses are wrong.  My hubby and I have seriously tossed the idea of moving out of State but my damned consious is nagging at me about who will help the old witch if we moved.  This women can't do a damned thing for herself like mow lawn, drive in the winter, get wood cut for the wood stove, clean her chimney, put the stove pipe back in.  My husband is the youngest boy and the older one she has alinated.  He quit talking to all of us about four years ago and now is just talking to us again.  My hubby told her he is seriously looking at jobs out of state, he has a really good job now just not what he wants to do, he really wants to be a full time firefighter.  I would support him in whatever just because he is my support through all of my cancer time and surgeries we have had done.  I would not be very happy with moving so far away from my parents and brother and sister but if it would give me my happy loving husband again it truly would be worth it.  She keeps telling us she doesn't want to be a burden to us well I apparently can't say it to her she is one big ass burden cause she has my husband jumping so fricken much that he is tired all the time trying to keep our house and hers going with out problems.  I am very thankful that his brother will come and help him cut wood, and I think that the only reason he comes out is to see his brother and that makes me happy, their mom has to have a revelation soon that she needs to sit and shut up and be nice grin and bear it damn it.  I have done this the whole fricken marraige and I have news for her, she better do it soon or she will be pushing her son farther away then she thinks possible he is seriously looking at New York.  He told her he wants to get his paramedic license and work two years here with it and then transfer to a big department that will allow him to run medical and fire in another state.  Her answer is oh you wouldn't be happy you would not be able to hunt at hunting season in another state you would be in a city.  His answer is I already checked the hunting aspect out so now she is thinking of diffrent ways to keep him close, like today she is providing lunch for the guys instead of making me she uses her cooking as a lure and I have news for her it won't work cause my hubby doesn't like her meals anymore they are blah, and I have mastered experimenting with diffrent dishes that are the same just a diffrent splash of flavor here and there.  I realize that some of ya don't care but this is the only way I know how to vent.  Sometimes I wish I could just stay in the hospital forever only I wish my kids and hubby could stay with me too, it keeps me away from her and I begin to feel serene again then crash reality I come home and it begins again.  Today she made the comment that my family doesn't have much to do with my kids, well no they don't my mother works and my dad is disabled and gets awful headaches from a brain tumor he had years ago and having two energetic boys running around any person who has had severe headaches knows that children can make it worse by being loud and jumping around constantly , my sister is seventeen and living her teenage life and my brother works non stop and has a wife and son too.  She is the only one who sees the kids everyday because she lives next door and comes over every damned day so who is at fault that no one comes over here?  SHE is cause no one in my family can stand her and my friends don't like her either because she is rude and insensitve.  She is upset because we are going over to my girlfriends tonight for dinner and we won't be here for her to pester and drive freaking mad,  she seems to think that we need to revolve around her when she wants and doesn't want.  I have been really upset because my oldest seems to think its his job to help take care of her since papa died and she allows him to continue needing her, my husband is now seeing that he is becoming very possesive of grandma and has continuously become very mouthy from being with grandma too much.  How do you tell someone that when they die their death is gonna cause alot of grief for a child who has got it in their head that they need to take care of them?  My son is only four and all he ever wants is to go to grandmas cause she needs him cause papa is gone.  She gets a little bit huffy when my mom comes over and my kids flock to her.  She gets pissy when my kids like being with my sister or my neices her own granddaughters.  I truly do believe my father in law may he be in peace now gave her too much control over everything.  He should of made her get out side and help with cutting wood mowing the lawn and learning how to run the outside machinery.  I have talked this over with my mom and dad and it makes me feel bad talking about her like that when she has been there for my kids when I could not but my parents tell me that family is there for you no matter what, and she is pushing to much, expecting things to go on the way it had for years when dad was alive and she needs to see that it can't go on that way hubby is not his dad he is his own man and has his own family and that she needs to put the grudge away with the oldest son and make good with him and not keep alinating everyone.  This women has no friends, just us and one neice who she calls and talks too, either her friends have passed on or simply no one likes her anymore cause she is so cankorus!  I am thankful that I have all of you to vent to because I am feeling a bit better now the pain in my shoulder and neck have lessend and I am thinking its tension from her griping at me constantly.   I truly hope that all of you have a wonderful day, month, and year! Spring is so close to blooming everything is going to look new!  May god bless each and every one of you!]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[went back to work]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7987</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7987</guid><description><![CDATA[I went back to work full time, and the same hours i had before.  I'm working 6:00am-2:00pm.  I have always worked at least 2 1/2 hours overtime everyday.  Really strange being off in the middle of the day. But my husband loves it! Hope to hear from someone soon!  Krista]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Going in March 31st]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7984</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7984</guid><description><![CDATA[I am nervous! I am exited! I am scared!  I felt all of this last Thursday when the doc told me we will begin reconstruction on Monday.  I am excited because we have cut the eight hour surgery down to three and a half hours.  We were going to take muscle from my back to build a breast but now from looking at my chest he says forget it you have very well defined chest muscle we don't need to take any from your back.  What did I do to keep the muscle from getting weakend from rads?  This is what he asked cause to many of his patients have to have muscles removed from other parts of the body for this procedure.  I did what I always do kept living like nothing was wrong with me.  I cut wood with my husband, stacked it, load and unloaded it, lifted laundry baskets full of clothes and rearranged my living room so many times it drives my husband absolutely nuts.  The loveseat is not light but I move it and the chairs we have are heavy too, and the TV who ever came up with the design should be shot this thing is so fricken heavy I use to have my hubby move it but determination set me to do it my self, it a Sanyo thirty two inch.  All this and lifting my children up has kept me fit and in shape I guess.  I have never changed my diet never did any real excersize that I can say helped me but I have done hard labor all in the name of love for my family.   I am getting so nervous now since I have two days before going back under the knife and I am also so excited that we are finally getting this done so I can feel like a whole woman again.  I would never ever have made it this far if it had not been from family friends and new friends from this site that gave me hope and some that pushed me to go the extra mile to live and beat cancer. I did it according to the onocologist so I say GOD BLESS all of you and those who have gone or are going through this may it be you personally or those in the family.    Thank you Angelique]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[new found faith]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7983</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7983</guid><description><![CDATA[I was thinking about how all this got started and realized god had a plan for me and saved my life. In early 2007 I started having a pain in my left side and the doc couldn't find anything wrong. Also I had no insurance. I met a man on the internet which I said I would never do and we fell in love. The pain in my side got worse and more frequent. I got married in Oct.7,2007. I was put on my husbands insurance in nov. and I started seeing specialist in nov. to find out what the pain in my side was. After many test and mri's I was set for a mammogram just because, in Jan. 2008 2 weeks later I was diagnosed with breast cancer in my left breast. I had a masectomy and reconstructive surgery 3 weeks ago. I am feeling much better now and to mine and my husbands amazement we discovered that since the day I had my mamogram the pain in my side has never been back and I feel in my heart this is how god talked to me. I just wanted to share my story with you because until now I was never a big believer in the lord but he has rekindeled my faith. Thank You for listening.]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[new found faith]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7982</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7982</guid><description><![CDATA[I was thinking about how all this got started and realized god had a plan for me and saved my life. In early 2007 I started having a pain in my left side and the doc couldn't find anything wrong. Also I had no insurance. I met a man on the internet which I said I would never do and we fell in love. The pain in my side got worse and more frequent. I got married in Oct.7,2007. I was put on my husbands insurance in nov. and I started seeing specialist in nov. to find out what the pain in my side was. After many test and mri's I was set for a mammogram just because, in Jan. 2008 2 weeks later I was diagnosed with breast cancer in my left breast. I had a masectomy and reconstructive surgery 3 weeks ago. I am feeling much better now and to mine and my husbands amazement we discovered that since the day I had my mamogram the pain in my side has never been back and I feel in my heart this is how god talked to me. I just wanted to share my story with you because until now I was never a big believer in the lord but he has rekindeled my faith. Thank You for listening.]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[new found faith]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7981</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7981</guid><description><![CDATA[I was thinking about how all this got started and realized god had a plan for me and saved my life. In early 2007 I started having a pain in my left side and the doc couldn't find anything wrong. Also I had no insurance. I met a man on the internet which I said I would never do and we fell in love. The pain in my side got worse and more frequent. I got married in Oct.7,2007. I was put on my husbands insurance in nov. and I started seeing specialist in nov. to find out what the pain in my side was. After many test and mri's I was set for a mammogram just because, in Jan. 2008 2 weeks later I was diagnosed with breast cancer in my left breast. I had a masectomy and reconstructive surgery 3 weeks ago. I am feeling much better now and to mine and my husbands amazement we discovered that since the day I had my mamogram the pain in my side has never been back and I feel in my heart this is how god talked to me. I just wanted to share my story with you because until now I was never a big believer in the lord but he has rekindeled my faith. Thank You for listening.]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Here I go.........]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7980</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7980</guid><description><![CDATA[Let me start by saying thank you to everyone!
I feel like my life has and is measured by a timeline- I do not like this, I am somewhat of a control freak, and my breast cancer threw me for a loop-there was not a damn thing I could do about it and this annoyed me greatly.
Oh great here come the tears, I have been through a LOT in my 41 years, starting at 12 years old a ruptured appendix (almost died), double pneumonia (almost died), and a internal bleeding to which ended up being an ulcer.
Flash forward to age 27 my police officer husband decides to have an affair with the town tramp, a divorce is inevitable for me, no children involved, THANK GOD!
3 years later, I have re-married and have my first daughter, c-section, then hernia surgery a year later, no biggie, then my second daughter two years later, again c-section, and lo and behold another hernia surgery for me, by now I am a seasoned veteran of the surgery world!
So there I am 40 years old, and go get my very first mammo, again no biggie, cancer does not run in my family, until I get a letter from the Dr.s office they found a mass, but I have no history, so again I am not worried, my Dr. sends me for a magnified mammogram and an ultrasound of my breast, still nothing sure can be seen, Dr. assures me wait 6 months, flash forward 3 months and I have a lemon sized growth on my right breast, everyone knows the routine, biopsy, Dr. says 3 months to live, we start aggressive chemo treatments, then radiation, then my mastectomy October 5, 2007.
I am now preparing for my "new"breasts I cannot wait!
Evidently through all my trials & tribulations, I am not meant to go just yet! I am here for a purpose, I hope God leaves me here long enough to see my precious girls grow into beautiful women without CANCER.
This thought along with wondering everyday if my cancer will return is always weighing on me, but I do not let it get me down, because I know I have a purpose to serve!
Love you all & hang in there,
Surgery Veteran-
Trish :)]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Research you can do on a computer   ]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7979</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7979</guid><description><![CDATA[Check out this research group .  they are looking to find a cure                               http://boinc.bakerlab.org/rosetta/]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Breat Poem]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7978</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7978</guid><description><![CDATA[I wrote this poem for my Aunt who was recently diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She will soon have her right breast removed. 

A quick goodbye to my breast, but only to the right. 
You and leftie have been real close, you’ve always been quite tight. 

You came together as a pair, but now its time to part. 
We always thought we’d be a team, right from the very start. 

It’s almost time for my left breast to live its life alone. 
It is not fair to separate, it’s something I condone. 

The time has come for you to go. You will be missed each day. 
This had to happen, it’s quite tragic and I don’t know what to say. 

So I say goodbye to you…..the best way I know how. 
When I sit and think about it…..I will only have one now. 
]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Easter]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7977</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7977</guid><description><![CDATA[May we all make today a cancer free day and enjoy that we are alive to share our blessings with our family. Happy Easter love and support Wanda]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Finally a plan for treatment and surgery]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7976</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7976</guid><description><![CDATA[This has been a long haul for me and I am thankful for the wonderful support I have received from my family, friends, and coworkers. 

I am also very fortunate to have a great Care Team who have come up with a treatment and surgical procedure for a cure rate of 97%% for me.

Since I have tested positive for the BRCA2 cancer mutation gene, and based on an  independent review of my pathology slides, and MRI results my Care Team has recommended six chemo treatments in 3 week intervals starting Monday, March 24. After my chemo treatments (approx. 4 months) a  bi-lateral mastectomy with breast reconstruction will be scheduled. Down the road I will also have my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed. 

I have met with my plastic surgeon (http://www.charlottalavia.com/index.cfm), she specializes in breast cancer reconstruction and is an experienced surgeon in microvascular surgery. She has recommended two procedures for me. The balloon expander with an implant or the flap reconstruction using the abdomen tissue (T-Flap). The tissue remains attached to its original site, retaining its blood supply. I am going to research both procedures because they have different risks associated with them. I will post a discussion on this site so I can get more information from other woman who have had these procedures. 

I will meet with my plastic surgeon again to discuss the procedure I prefer and schedule the surgery.  



]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Faith]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7975</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7975</guid><description><![CDATA[In this journey I have faith in the father up above. He has really lifted me up and brought me a long way. Before I was diagnosed with breast cancer I would let lots of things stress me out. But after I started talking to him personally one on one. I realized that there was no one greater than the man himself . And It's like he put up this was so that no evil, hurt, or harm can come to me . I worry no more about nothing. And it feels good to get up every morning and say that God Is good All The Time He is always there when you need Him and he steps in right on time. ]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Found a great breast cancer awareness site!]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7974</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7974</guid><description><![CDATA[Hi Guys, as I'm sure you know, I am very passionate about breast cancer awareness. Although I have never be affected myself, many of my friends and family have had to deal with this horrible disease.  

I wanted to share a site I recently came across which seems like an amazing idea.  The site is http://www.help4breastcancer.com and is set out to promote breast cancer awareness.  By filling out a few surveys, I earned a breast cancer bracelet!  What a great idea for a great cause!]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Survior story]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7973</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/journals/7973</guid><description><![CDATA[
I Walked into my Doctor’s office greeting him with a mischievous grin and my usual cheerful hello and how you are. I sat on the chair he had placed next to his desk not too far from the door to exit his office. We sat there talking a little about me and how I’ve been; he wanted to see how the wounds on my breast and armpit which he operated on two weeks before were healing. After the examination I returned to the chair and started talking to him about an idea I had and wish, to pursue on women’s health. when he said to me the pathologist’s report came back and it doesn’t look good, I knew then that the very same words I or any woman would fear and even more difficult for any doctor to deliver to his patient he was about to utter to me. “You have breast cancer”. I sat still, my mind blank, my eyes wide open steering into his, with no emotion my lips parted and I heard the sound of my own voice in it’s normal tone “ God I knew I wanted smaller breasts but I didn’t expect you to take all” I left the Doctor’s office still my normal self not realising the full force of what the doctor had said, I got home and related the news to those who were close to me then sat by the phone trying to cry because that’s the normal reaction I assumed of someone who just been told they have been afflicted wi