<?xml version="1.0"?><rss version="2.0"><channel><title>Adriana's Journal RSS Feed</title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/rss</link><description>Adriana's Journal RSS Feed</description><item><title><![CDATA[It's so hard]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/8327</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/8327</guid><description><![CDATA[Well I sit here and wait until my Dr's appt on Wednesday, August 6th.  I hate it.  My ct scan and bone scan came back clear, but I don't know if the margins are going to be clear.  When all this originally started and I had my lumpectomy, they needed to do a re-incision because the margins were not clear.  Then I had a double masectomy.  I sit here and pray that will come back clear, I don't know if I can handle having another surgery.  My chest on the right side is so indented, I don't know how much more they can cut off.  

Overall it's been a bumpy road, but I have made it.  The waiting and not knowing drives me crazy.  My mind goes crazy, it's difficult to stay focused.  I try to keep busy, but at night when the kids are in bed, my husband works nights, it's really hard.  I think I've cried myself to sleep the last 4 nights.  It does help to get all those bad feelings out, but man oh man, it sure is difficult sometimes.

I sit here typing and taking in deep breaths, telling myself one day at a time. 
]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Surgery update]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/8317</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/8317</guid><description><![CDATA[Well I had surgery on the 29th to remove my expander.  They ended up removing about 90 percent of my pectorial muscle in order to get the clear margins, but just like my original lumpectomy I need to wait for the final pathology report.  My bone scan and ct scan came back clear but for some reason my chest area still showed signs of cancer.  This really STINKS!, I guess all I can do is TRY and stay positive  until I get the final results.  IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG WEEK.  

Hugs to all:)

Adriana]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Surgery #4, in 2008]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/8310</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/8310</guid><description><![CDATA[I will be having my Surgery on Tuesday, July 29th.  They need to remove my expander and also some tissue, how much who know's.  They will remove tissue, freeze it, send it to the pathologist and hopefully they can see clear margins.  Right now I am back on my emotional roller coaster.  I think about the worst case scenario to getting myself back on track and thinking positive.  It sure is exhausting, but I think I need to cry and let out all those feelings, so I can be ready for Tuesday.

Thank you for all your prayers.

Hugs:)

Adriana]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Few steps back]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/8271</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/8271</guid><description><![CDATA[Well, I saw my Plastic Surgeon today, the good news is I got my drains out.  The stinker is that I guess the skin / scar tissue he removed the day of my surgery came back from the pathologist.  There were signs of cancer.  Turns out I will be needing radiation after all.  I will see the radiation oncologist on Monday to find out more.  Oh well, what is a girl to do?  Keep me in your prayers:)

Hugs to all.

Adriana]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Expanders]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/8255</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/8255</guid><description><![CDATA[Well I had my surgery on Monday, July 7th, 2008.  I feel much better today, the first few days was kinda painful.  It does'nt help that I have to sleep on my back and I am not a back sleeper.  Now I pray that my drains will come out tomorrow, all I can do is wait and see, if not I have to wailt until Monday.  ]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[I'm ready for reconstruction]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/8199</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/8199</guid><description><![CDATA[Hello Ladies,

I received a call from my plastic surgeon today, and I have my surgery scheduled for July 7th.  I keep reading that this will be the most painful part.  I will get expanders and eventually saline implants.  

Anyone have any advice on anything I can do to prepare myself, both physically and emotionally.  Is this really painful?  I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but I am scarred.

Thanks:)]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Another Surgery]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/7993</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/7993</guid><description><![CDATA[Well, here I go again for another surgery.  I will be having my ovaries removed on Wednesday.  This is because of the BRCA1, I tested positive.  This will be my forth surgery within 1 yr.  I'm getting tired of all of this, I just want to scream.  I know this is what I need to do to continue my journey to healing, but I hate being sick:(.

Thank you for all your support and prayers.

Adriana]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Prosthetics]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/7960</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/7960</guid><description><![CDATA[I am wearing my new falsies for the 1st time today, they feel pretty good, I think they look good.  It's been about 4 weeks today, since my bi-lateral and I feel good.  I am enjoying life and realize that I am still here, that's what is important.  ]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Eye Soar!]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/7899</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/7899</guid><description><![CDATA[Well, I saw myself in the mirror for the 1st time, my bandages were falling off so I just took a very deep breath and took them off.  What a sight that was!:(, I was a little emotional, but also glad that I will no longer ever have to worry about any kind of breast cancer reoccurrance.  Now I guess I have to take one day at a time and of course time heals all wounds, right?  I think I handled it alot better than I thought I would, very proud of myself:)]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[When will I feel like me again!]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/7892</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/7892</guid><description><![CDATA[Ok, I know it's only been 3 days since my bi-lateral.  It's only been 4 weeks since my last chemo, so I still have no hair, it is just starting to come back.  My feelings are on a huge roller coaster.  Sometimes I feel so ugly, other times I feel like I am beautiful no matter what.  I have a great husband who tries so hard to take care of me but of course he feels helpless sometimes.  My kids are great, they try to keep me smiling.  Sometimes it gets so hard to keep your head up and know that I will get through this.  I just wish I could skip a month or two and get my life back to somewhat being normal:)]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Surgery]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/7884</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/7884</guid><description><![CDATA[Well, today is February 11th, I am scheduled for my bi lateral on the 13th.  I am  still scared, but ready.  I know this is the best decision for me.  I think the scariest part is the after, how will I feel when I wake from anesthesia, and how will I feel the first time I look at myself in a mirror.  Well instead of driving myself crazy,  I decided that I will spend the 12th at the SPA, it is going to be a "ME" day.  My good friend will also be there with me, so I will definetly have a good day.  

]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[I did it!]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/7847</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/adriana/journals/7847</guid><description><![CDATA[Today, January 15, 2008, was hopefully my last chemo treatment.  I am so proud of myself.  I have realized that this breast cancer has made me such a stronger woman.  I don't think anyone who hasn't gone through any type of chemo realizes how important today is.  I still have one week of neupregen shots and the rest of this week with my side effects, but this is truly one big mile stone for me.]]></description></item></channel></rss>