National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.

WELL TODAY WAS THE WORST DAY EVER SO FAR..MY MOM HAD HER FIRST CHEMO TREATMENT FRIDAY AUG. 31 SHE FELT OK THAT NIGHT, SATURDAY SHE WAS A BIT ICKY BUT NOT TERRIBLE, SUNDAY ABOUT 1AM I GUESS SHE STARTED PUKING, AROUND 12:30PM SUNDAY AFTERNOON MY GRANDMA CALLED ME, I HEARD MY MOM IN THE BACKGROUND SAYING SHE WAS DONE SHE COULDN'T BE SICK ALL THE TIME, SHE CAN'T HANDLE IT AND SHE WAS NOT GOING ANYMORE. WELL MY GRANDMA CALLED THE ONCOLOGIST AND HE SAID SHE NEEDED FLUIDS AND A NAUSEA MED THE PILLS SHE HAS WERE NOT WORKING OR SOMETHING...WELL THEY GOT TO THE HOSPITAL BEFORE ME..WHEN I WALK IN SHE STARTS CRYING AND SCREAMING SHE IS DONE AND BEGGING ME TO NOT MAKE HER GO TO ANYMORE TREATMENTS, SHE DOESN'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS ANYMORE PLEASE JUST LET HER GO HOME TO GOD AND DIE IN PEACE..THEN SHE LOOKS AT MY GRANDMA AND SAYS SHE KNOWS MY GRANDMA DIDN'T BRING HER INTO THIS WORLD TO WATCH HER GO THROUGH THIS...THIS WENT ON FOR 45 MINS...WHEN THE NURSE CAME IN TO GET BLOOD AND PUT IN THE IV THEY USED THE PORT LINE AND SHE SCREAMED LIKED A CHILD WHEN THEY POKED THE PORT SPOT...SHE WAS FRANTIC...THE DOCTOR CAME IN AND ASKED WHAT WAS THE DEAL BECAUSE IT SHOULDN'T BE THAT BAD TO USE THE PORT...I THINK IT WAS THAT SHE WAS EXHAUSTED AND DIDN'T FEEL WELL AND HER WHOLE BODY WAS FEELING EVERYTHING BETTER...WHAT DO I DO...IF SHE WANTS TO QUIT DO I JUST SET BACK AND LET HER OR DO I TRY TO TALK TO HER..I JUST FEEL LIKE NOTHING I SAY IS GOING TO MAKE HER FEEL ANY BETTER...I'M NOT MAKING HER DO ANYTHING BUT I DON'T WANT HER TO DIE...I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK...TODAY WAS THE WORST FEELING I HAVE EVER HAD BECAUSE I HAD NO WORDS TO SAY TO HER...A WEEK AGO SHE WAS MAD BECAUSE SHE WANTED THE TREATMENT STARTED AND NOW SHE WANTS TO QUIT...ANY ADVICE WOULD BE GREAT..THERE ARE NO SUPPORT GROUPS IN MY AREA THEY ARE ALL A HOUR AWAY..SO THERE IS NO ONE TO TALK TO HER JUST US AND I DON'T THINK I'M ENOUGH.