National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.

I am nervous enough about surgery monday yet the mother in law still insists on harping at me about how I seem to have a lot of aches and pains. Well yes I do have pain its called being cut open many times and muscles not stretching like they use too. Its an awful thought but I just wish just once she could walk in my shoes!!!!! She is in her seventies and yes she is so set in her ways that everyone elses are wrong. My hubby and I have seriously tossed the idea of moving out of State but my damned consious is nagging at me about who will help the old witch if we moved. This women can't do a damned thing for herself like mow lawn, drive in the winter, get wood cut for the wood stove, clean her chimney, put the stove pipe back in. My husband is the youngest boy and the older one she has alinated. He quit talking to all of us about four years ago and now is just talking to us again. My hubby told her he is seriously looking at jobs out of state, he has a really good job now just not what he wants to do, he really wants to be a full time firefighter. I would support him in whatever just because he is my support through all of my cancer time and surgeries we have had done. I would not be very happy with moving so far away from my parents and brother and sister but if it would give me my happy loving husband again it truly would be worth it. She keeps telling us she doesn't want to be a burden to us well I apparently can't say it to her she is one big ass burden cause she has my husband jumping so fricken much that he is tired all the time trying to keep our house and hers going with out problems. I am very thankful that his brother will come and help him cut wood, and I think that the only reason he comes out is to see his brother and that makes me happy, their mom has to have a revelation soon that she needs to sit and shut up and be nice grin and bear it damn it. I have done this the whole fricken marraige and I have news for her, she better do it soon or she will be pushing her son farther away then she thinks possible he is seriously looking at New York. He told her he wants to get his paramedic license and work two years here with it and then transfer to a big department that will allow him to run medical and fire in another state. Her answer is oh you wouldn't be happy you would not be able to hunt at hunting season in another state you would be in a city. His answer is I already checked the hunting aspect out so now she is thinking of diffrent ways to keep him close, like today she is providing lunch for the guys instead of making me she uses her cooking as a lure and I have news for her it won't work cause my hubby doesn't like her meals anymore they are blah, and I have mastered experimenting with diffrent dishes that are the same just a diffrent splash of flavor here and there. I realize that some of ya don't care but this is the only way I know how to vent. Sometimes I wish I could just stay in the hospital forever only I wish my kids and hubby could stay with me too, it keeps me away from her and I begin to feel serene again then crash reality I come home and it begins again. Today she made the comment that my family doesn't have much to do with my kids, well no they don't my mother works and my dad is disabled and gets awful headaches from a brain tumor he had years ago and having two energetic boys running around any person who has had severe headaches knows that children can make it worse by being loud and jumping around constantly , my sister is seventeen and living her teenage life and my brother works non stop and has a wife and son too. She is the only one who sees the kids everyday because she lives next door and comes over every damned day so who is at fault that no one comes over here? SHE is cause no one in my family can stand her and my friends don't like her either because she is rude and insensitve. She is upset because we are going over to my girlfriends tonight for dinner and we won't be here for her to pester and drive freaking mad, she seems to think that we need to revolve around her when she wants and doesn't want. I have been really upset because my oldest seems to think its his job to help take care of her since papa died and she allows him to continue needing her, my husband is now seeing that he is becoming very possesive of grandma and has continuously become very mouthy from being with grandma too much. How do you tell someone that when they die their death is gonna cause alot of grief for a child who has got it in their head that they need to take care of them? My son is only four and all he ever wants is to go to grandmas cause she needs him cause papa is gone. She gets a little bit huffy when my mom comes over and my kids flock to her. She gets pissy when my kids like being with my sister or my neices her own granddaughters. I truly do believe my father in law may he be in peace now gave her too much control over everything. He should of made her get out side and help with cutting wood mowing the lawn and learning how to run the outside machinery. I have talked this over with my mom and dad and it makes me feel bad talking about her like that when she has been there for my kids when I could not but my parents tell me that family is there for you no matter what, and she is pushing to much, expecting things to go on the way it had for years when dad was alive and she needs to see that it can't go on that way hubby is not his dad he is his own man and has his own family and that she needs to put the grudge away with the oldest son and make good with him and not keep alinating everyone. This women has no friends, just us and one neice who she calls and talks too, either her friends have passed on or simply no one likes her anymore cause she is so cankorus! I am thankful that I have all of you to vent to because I am feeling a bit better now the pain in my shoulder and neck have lessend and I am thinking its tension from her griping at me constantly. I truly hope that all of you have a wonderful day, month, and year! Spring is so close to blooming everything is going to look new! May god bless each and every one of you!