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BJ SPEED

I DID SURVIVE BY THE GRACE OF GOD!!!

Full Name: BRENDA SPEED
I Am A: Survivor
Birthdate: Feb 7
Location: Columbus, Mississippi

 
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Journal:

How many have touched your life

on 4/22/2008 at 8:24 am in Supporters - Friends & Family
I guess yesterday was my "ME" day. I finally broke down and got all messed up in the head and was feeling sooooo sorry for myself. I hate what all I am going through and I hate the way my surgery looks. I hate taking medication. I hate going to the cancer center EVERY day.......but then I guess God yanked me up and put the emergency brakes on.

I got to thinking about how many people have prayed for me, cared for me, sent cards...I got cards and prayers from people that I do not even know. My husband was wonderful. I would not have the energy to cook supper....and out of no where someone would bring over a roast........KFC.......or just bread and lunch meat......I never asked, it just appeared......

About three days after surgery this precious lady (who I have never seen in my life) came to my house to wash cloths, clean floors, start supper and clean bathrooms....anything I needed her to do....she was sent by an unknown friend...and refused payment, as payment was already made by the friend.

I got to thinking about all of that and all I could do was feel sooooo ashamed of myself. I am so blessed and so cared about and loved. Shame on me!!!!!!!! Thank God for good friends.

I would like to know what some of the really special things that blessed you and helped you the most were. I am now on a mission to GIVE BACK the blessings I have been given. What meant most to you? BJ

Comments:

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I can so relate to the first part of my journal, and feeling all of that right now - I too, however, have been blessed by so many people, family, friends and people at my church - I don't know what I would have done without their support - my pity party has started and I'm trying desparately to get out of this black cloud -
by Lori
on 5/13/2008 at 10:22 am
Me again lol i forgot to mention the pink carnations my husband kept in the house for me, and the breast cancer jewelry that my kids bought for me...u know what it was a year of hell could do alot of thinking on this one : ) u know what i think i loved the most, when i looked the worse my head got rubbed and kissed !!!
by Wanda
on 5/4/2008 at 7:34 am
those i feel sorry for myself really sucked, i rem even laying in bed crying i hated all of it and just wanted to be normal again, i hated that i couldnt find myself anymore. I told everyone if i could draw a pic i would be under the ground in the dark digging my way up to the light that is how i felt. One day i went to the mail box and there was a big yellow envelop in there i opened it and there was the prettiest pink scarf and hat hand made that said we are thinking of u and hope this will brighten your day ...i cried ..that was the nices thing anyone had everdone for me with there own hands..of course u know how easy it is to cry with your body being thrown into manapause i didnt cry anymore it just droped out ...love and support Wanda
by Wanda
on 5/4/2008 at 7:28 am
During my chemo my Mom came out to our home (that that my hubby could not have done it) and did my ironing and fixed dinner for us. It was hard admitting that we needed it, but boy was it nice. Also, I got more cards from the people at our church just telling me how much I was loved and prayed for. What a difference that makes? God has a way of working in our lives, I just pray all of us can have open hearts to see it all and to try to get off ourselves (which sometimes is not easy) to see what we can actually do for others. Just remember, God knows our hearts, even on our boohooey days - best to you, Lori
by Lori
on 4/25/2008 at 4:56 pm

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