National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.

I got diagonosed on oct/4th and got lumpetomy and sentinel lymph nodes removed on 9th. my tumor was 2.2cm with invasive ductal carcinoma. I am ER/PR positive and her-2 positive. This tumor was living off my hormone. my emotion has been up and down for last two weeks. I eat healthy, and i work out almost everyday(i guess I used to until now).I met my oncologist yesterday and he said that i need to talk to hubby for saving my eggs in case we want to have kids in future. We have been married for 10 years and we don't have kids. It was mainly me, didn't want to have. i had option before but not anymore. I am scared of chemo so much that i think i am gona have panic attack. I haven't been sleeping good since 4th.I have to do 8 chemos and radiation, herceptin and hormone theraphy. Pretty much everything. All i could think about is chemo, and my cancer cells. I realized that my body, even my hairs are not mine. They are belong to god. I have been away from god and he is calling me.
i reallly don't have lots of freinds and sometimes it sucks. I have very close relationship with my sister and my mom. but sometimes it's hard to show them my emotion cuz they're gona be so sad that i am sad.I have been telling myself that I gota get hair cut b4 the chemo but i have been delaying. I have beautiful hairs. I have jlo hair color with sarahjparker waves. It is hard to let them go. I know it's only hairs but It still make me sad.thank you reading this......