National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.

About Me

I Walked into my Doctor’s office greeting him with a mischievous grin and my usual cheerful hello and how you are. I sat on the chair he had placed next to his desk not too far from the door to exit his office. We sat there talking a little about me and how I’ve been; he wanted to see how the wounds on my breast and armpit which he operated on two weeks before were healing. After the examination I returned to the chair and started talking to him about an idea I had and wish, to pursue on women’s health. when he said to me the pathologist’s report came back and it doesn’t look good, I knew then that the very same words I or any woman would fear and even more difficult for any doctor to deliver to his patient he was about to utter to me. “You have breast cancer”. I sat still, my mind blank, my eyes wide open steering into his, with no emotion my lips parted and I heard the sound of my own voice in it’s normal tone “ God I knew I wanted smaller breasts but I didn’t expect you to take all” I left the Doctor’s office still my normal self not realising the full force of what the doctor had said, I got home and related the news to those who were close to me then sat by the phone trying to cry because that’s the normal reaction I assumed of someone who just been told they have been afflicted with breast cancer, I sat and waited and no tears came so I gave up trying.

I woke up two mornings after and it finally hit me: I have BREAST CANCER and I could DIE. After all that was the only knowledge I had of breast cancer and any other cancers for that matter having lost a brother and a sister to lung and cervical cancer. No one ever told me that early detection can save lives,or that with chemotherapy and radiation you can destroy cancer cells thus giving you the opportunity to live a normal life, or that cancer is not a death sentence it’s just a chronic illness. What I was haunted by was that I had cancer and I am going to die, so the more I thought about dying the angrier I got, the sadder and more frightened I became. And so it went on for the next few months where I cried many tears for myself. I cried because the Doctor I saw six months earlier with the tiny lump in my breast told me it was fiber adenoma, I cried because another Doctor told me three months after that the then marble size lump in my breast and the lime size lump under my armpit was fiber adenoma and a cyst. I cried because I felt lost, hopeless and out of control, how could I have breast cancer when I ate healthy and exercise on a regular basis. I cried because I felt trapped in a nightmare and couldn’t wake up. I cried because there really does come a time when the only thing left for you to do is cry.

Sometimes major incidents in our lives cause us to pause and to take a deeper look at ourselves. Some of us close down, others change direction. Different people, different reactions but the bottom line is we must come to terms with whatever we are faced with. A few days later after the news I returned to see my now adopted Doctor, to discuss, when where and how I was going to start my fight for the right to life. We opted for mastectomy which I wasn’t too thrilled about and needed convincing that I had absolutely no other choice and it was the best thing to do. Chemotherapy and radiation was to follow immediately after.

It’s really “ironic” the thing that was close to my heart was to be removed on Valentines Day. Love really does hurt. A few weeks later I began my eight cycles of chemotherapy treatment. The first four cycles was intolerable. I was stuck in bed for two weeks only allowing me one week of freedom until the next dose of chemo. I felt like my belly was always at my throat ready to force its way out my mouth. There were days where I felt sick even before the chemo was administered. At other times all you had to do was mention the name of the hospital or the Oncologist and I would start feeling nauseous. I consoled myself by believing that chemo was my friend and it was here to deliver me. I grew up hearing my mum say that “your hair was your beauty” so you could imagine how I felt when my hair started falling out by the handful. A wave of panic rushed from my heart to my head and down to my feet. I watched myself go bald within weeks. I’ve heard people say that every spoil is a style and so I pulled out my scarves and let myself loose with this new sense of style I quickly adopted.

The radiation treatment was quick and painless, everyday I had for three weeks I had approximately two minutes radiation treatment to the area. I had absolutely no side effects.

I am a fighter and a believer in God and his miracles, when I last saw my Oncologist he told me that there was no clinical sign of cancer. But there are still times when I’m scared; that’s when I pray, and the times when I am afraid that’s when I remember “Fear not for I am with you always” I believe that the most important decision we make on a day to day basis is our choice of attitude, it either keeps us moving ahead or cripples our progress. I am moving ahead, I have come to terms with my Illness, I have counseled others who are fighting the battle of breast cancer and other cancers, and here I am telling my story hoping that it will give someone hope or save a life.

It is m belief that when our attitude is positive there is no barrier too high, no dream too extreme and no challenge too great. When I was first diagnosed I was very ignorant to the issue of breast cancer. Now I am a walking book of information; I made it my business to educate myself on how I can win the fight against breast cancer; I learn from others and I hope that someone would learn from me. I continue to do my monthly self breast examination, eating healthy and exercising on a regular basis. Remember breast cancer can strike anyone at anytime Man or woman whether you are two or a hundred and two. But the key to saving your life is early detection.

I love life and I am living it with a passion. Today I am happily married with a beautiful baby boy, he was conceived six months after my cancer treatment was completed. There is a possibility that my cancer can reoccur at anytime but that’s another story. Right now I am keeping my eyes wide open to the miracle of life called ME