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I am in chemo now. Had lumpectomy Sept. 07. ER & PR positive. Was taken off the pill in July 07 when I found the lump & saw my gyno. Now I can't be on oral contraceptives, and the chemo seems to have sent me into menopause complete with hot flashes and night sweats. But can't do hormone replacement therapy to relieve any meno symptoms. I've gained 20+ pounds and am forgetful as hell, but am required to retain a lot of knowledge for work. I can't even get to work in the mornings if I overheat & get dizzy, but can't get on disability for that! Can I ever get back on birth control if the menopause is just temporary? docs say I can still get pregnant, but that's not an issue yet as I don;t want to be intimate when I am fat, bald, cranky, in pain and a mess. Condoms over 40 are just absurd if you're in a relationship but I don't know what the alternatives would be. Then there is this weight gain which I loathe. Used to be the hot chick with the long blonde hair now I am the pudgy waddling limping one with no hair and I only hope I can one day regain that part of myself. The fatigue, the pain, the memory loss, the uncertainty....will I ever get past the mental and physical crap that comes with cancer???????? I know I have life, for which I am grateful, but I so want to fast forward past the chemo, radiation, etc. and know if I will ever feel GOOD again. I just feel so hideous and frumpy and hopeless at times. Then I feel guilty because others are less fortunate than I am. Oh what a cycle! My survivor sisters, can you give me any light at the end of the tunnel or is it "you're lucky to be alive" and "find other ways to be intimate" and "big is beautiful" for life???
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Want to leave a comment? Login or Register now!I to know about weight gain & feeling not good about myself
Chemo brain does do a number on a person. In time the hair will grow back &
I am sure you will be back to your beautiful self because you are a child of God
& that gives us hope. Cancer survivor Alliet
Hi, I send Hugs & Prayers to you on your cancer journey I to know about weight gain & feeling not good about myself Chemo brain does do a number on a person. In time the hair will grow back & I am sure you will be back to your beautiful self because you are a child of God & that gives us hope. Cancer survivor Alliet
LindaEventully you get close to normal, but cancer certainly takes its toll. I finshed chemo in Oct 2006 and radiation in Jan 07. I am back to the enery level I had before cancer (BC) and the chemo brain is almost gone. I heard that if you measure the time between when you were 1st diagnosed and when you completed treatment, that is the amount of time (at a minimum) it will take to recover. For me it was 8 months from diagnosis to the end of radiation. And, it took a little over 8 months until I started feeling "normal". Although the curly hair took some time to get used to. Good luck and don't let the treatment get you down! Linda
Love and support to you and your family
NancyOK GIRL you will get through it and you willmove on with as normal of a life as you can. I have just (October 07) finished with my second go around and I am feeling super now. It does get better I promise, and as for the fat well in my opinion I would rather have to work to get the weight off then to look like a stick girl! so keep a still upper lip do your treatments and rest assured you will feel better! Love and support to you and your family Nancy
P.S. check out www.dailyom.com for some very good day to day inspirational articles and check out my Survivor Breast Cancer merchandise on my online Zazzle shop: www.zazzle.com/marquitalenear*
- MarQuita
www.zazzle.com/marquitalenear*
I'm new to this online community. I do not have breast cancer by the grace of the almighty, but I do wish to read other people's stories and to give my support to everyone. May God bless you all and your families. You Will Survive! Please be positive... you must speak it and believe! : ) P.S. check out www.dailyom.com for some very good day to day inspirational articles and check out my Survivor Breast Cancer merchandise on my online Zazzle shop: www.zazzle.com/marquitalenear* - MarQuita www.zazzle.com/marquitalenear*
Going through chemo was no piece of cake for me--the bilateral mastectomy was so easy in comparison. They say the younger you are, the more developed your nausea center in your brain. I was sick, sick, sick for 6 months. The doctor had me on so many steroids and antinausea meds and I gained 30+ pounds, looked pale and bloated. And felt awful--- the way you do.
When I ended chemo in May, not only did I have the weight gain but my liver was enlarged and my liver enzymes were sky high and they couldn't start me on Tamoxifen. My PCP told me it took him years to get his liver into shape post chemo. I spent the summer walking each day, swimming but mostly I watched my diet. I ate grilled salmon or a tiny piece of grlled chicken breast, lots of veggies and fruit. No salt, no margarine or butter, and only tiny amounts of bread and even healthy fats like olive oil. I lost 25 lbs and I was never hungry. My onc office couldn't believe it! Then they tested my liver--all normal!! That was the best news. It felt good to feel I had some control over my body.
I can't say I felt as hot as I used to but you know what----I'm giving myself some time. I am trying to treat myself like I would a friend. I would say to a friend--look at what you've been through! It'll take some time and some work but you'll be fine again!
So by September, they could start me on the Tamoxifen and even though the hot flashes/night sweats/mood swings are awful, I know I have to make more adjustments and my onc says that my body may take 6-8 months to adjust. The longer I can stay on it, the better for me...so I'll do my best to deal with it.
BTW--We are intimate again since the summer actually. And it took some adjustments too. But it's good again and getting better all the time...:)
Treat yourself with the TLC you would give a dear friend. Write me anytime or someone else who cares.Here, sister.... You Will Find a NEW Normal. Going through chemo was no piece of cake for me--the bilateral mastectomy was so easy in comparison. They say the younger you are, the more developed your nausea center in your brain. I was sick, sick, sick for 6 months. The doctor had me on so many steroids and antinausea meds and I gained 30+ pounds, looked pale and bloated. And felt awful--- the way you do. When I ended chemo in May, not only did I have the weight gain but my liver was enlarged and my liver enzymes were sky high and they couldn't start me on Tamoxifen. My PCP told me it took him years to get his liver into shape post chemo. I spent the summer walking each day, swimming but mostly I watched my diet. I ate grilled salmon or a tiny piece of grlled chicken breast, lots of veggies and fruit. No salt, no margarine or butter, and only tiny amounts of bread and even healthy fats like olive oil. I lost 25 lbs and I was never hungry. My onc office couldn't believe it! Then they tested my liver--all normal!! That was the best news. It felt good to feel I had some control over my body. I can't say I felt as hot as I used to but you know what----I'm giving myself some time. I am trying to treat myself like I would a friend. I would say to a friend--look at what you've been through! It'll take some time and some work but you'll be fine again! So by September, they could start me on the Tamoxifen and even though the hot flashes/night sweats/mood swings are awful, I know I have to make more adjustments and my onc says that my body may take 6-8 months to adjust. The longer I can stay on it, the better for me...so I'll do my best to deal with it. BTW--We are intimate again since the summer actually. And it took some adjustments too. But it's good again and getting better all the time...:) Treat yourself with the TLC you would give a dear friend. Write me anytime or someone else who cares.
If you have your breast, feel blessed. The chemo will be easy. My hair has already grown back. I do not work and have wonderful support. I need to work, but still not ready. I have pain in the nodes and chest still. I burned to a crisp during radiation and I have a trigger thumb from the neuorpathy from the chemo. But as I was going thru the treatments, I just got through them, went home, watched lots of TV and got waited on. Hang in there. It does improve.I am 57 years old and had a mast 5/17/07. I was already thru menopause, so not really having any effect from the arimidex. If you have your breast, feel blessed. The chemo will be easy. My hair has already grown back. I do not work and have wonderful support. I need to work, but still not ready. I have pain in the nodes and chest still. I burned to a crisp during radiation and I have a trigger thumb from the neuorpathy from the chemo. But as I was going thru the treatments, I just got through them, went home, watched lots of TV and got waited on. Hang in there. It does improve.