magermom's Journal
Flag as Inappropriate
magermom
Full Name: Susan Magers
I Am A: Patient
Birthdate: Sep 29
Location: Clinton, Illinois
RSS
Iam not very good at this so bare with me...
I have lost a ot of family memebers to cancer; either by time we found it it was to late it was everywhere. The others is the catagory i find myself in now. Started in the breast was healed then 4 years to the date of breast cancer diagnisis It returns to the bones. No one in my family has beaten this. I started chmo treatments on the date of when my youngest turned 5 years old that would of been 8/24/07 was told things were going great 6months of chemo and i would be done. We did a PET scan this past Jan. was told it was clear. I had a big party planned NOBODY in my family on either side of my parents has every gotten this far. The day that was to be my last chemo my doctor came and seen me and said we need to start the plan for your new chemo. My husband and I were floored. The report meaning all clear menat no new growths. Yes I am very thankful for that. I am also very thankful that for all the places it was only one spot is left. I started getting depressed about 6 weeks ago when I started this new chemo which I am allergic to and fighting my doctor to change it. ALso what has not helped is the peole i have been sitting next to have been fighting cancer on a daily bases for 3 years, 5 years and 9years straight. I am overwhelmed at them I can not imagine and yes I go on complaing about me . I have found myself wondering if this is my life now? I am on medcine so i do not get sick anymore, after treatment for 7-8 days my body aches so bad I can not do anything plus this rash and itching i look like a mess. I just want to be healthy again so i can enjoy my family. I want to be able to play with my little one not say I am sorry mommy does not feel good. I know there is people out in the world worse then me I just do not understand why I feel so sorry for myself all of a sudden. I never did before. It is hard to see everyone around you enjoying everyday life, while your laying on the sofa trying to stay wake and not being in pain or sick. My brother told me he thinks I need to find people who can relate to me and I will not feel so alone.....so anybody out there who is willing to share i am open for that.
I have lost a ot of family memebers to cancer; either by time we found it it was to late it was everywhere. The others is the catagory i find myself in now. Started in the breast was healed then 4 years to the date of breast cancer diagnisis It returns to the bones. No one in my family has beaten this. I started chmo treatments on the date of when my youngest turned 5 years old that would of been 8/24/07 was told things were going great 6months of chemo and i would be done. We did a PET scan this past Jan. was told it was clear. I had a big party planned NOBODY in my family on either side of my parents has every gotten this far. The day that was to be my last chemo my doctor came and seen me and said we need to start the plan for your new chemo. My husband and I were floored. The report meaning all clear menat no new growths. Yes I am very thankful for that. I am also very thankful that for all the places it was only one spot is left. I started getting depressed about 6 weeks ago when I started this new chemo which I am allergic to and fighting my doctor to change it. ALso what has not helped is the peole i have been sitting next to have been fighting cancer on a daily bases for 3 years, 5 years and 9years straight. I am overwhelmed at them I can not imagine and yes I go on complaing about me . I have found myself wondering if this is my life now? I am on medcine so i do not get sick anymore, after treatment for 7-8 days my body aches so bad I can not do anything plus this rash and itching i look like a mess. I just want to be healthy again so i can enjoy my family. I want to be able to play with my little one not say I am sorry mommy does not feel good. I know there is people out in the world worse then me I just do not understand why I feel so sorry for myself all of a sudden. I never did before. It is hard to see everyone around you enjoying everyday life, while your laying on the sofa trying to stay wake and not being in pain or sick. My brother told me he thinks I need to find people who can relate to me and I will not feel so alone.....so anybody out there who is willing to share i am open for that.
Feedback
We value your feedback.
Found a Bug?
Report bugs and help us improve the MyNBCF Community.
Comments:
Want to leave a comment? Login or Register now!angieYou are aloud to feel sorry for your self. But not for too long. You have to pick your self up and start over. The fight is there. You just have to remember it. I can not say I know what you are going though. I don't. But there are people who do . And your brother is right you need to find them and talk to them and share all that you feel. Ask the people giving you chemo where to go the find people-also you feel down becaues you thought it was over. So that time to feel sorry for you. But them move on. You are in my prays. angie