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how to tell your kids

by Photoshopmom on 4/17/2008 at 1:45 pmin category Tell Your Story
I have an adult child ,23, she has a 3 month son that has epilepsy, and her husband is going thru depression over that, now how do I tell her that surgery is coming,
I dont want to say the "C" word because, she has been thru it the last month,
Should I wait and see what happens, or should I give her all the info?
I appreciate your input,

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it is definatley your decision to make when and how to tell her. the c word today doesn't mean a bad thing it means chance. i have a 19, 15 and 11 year old and i set them down and told them i had found a lump had the tests done a doctors appointment a biopsy and the lab work came back and it was cancer but alot of research is being done and if your gonna get cancer this is the kind to get its easy to treat and we can live a long long time. and chances are we will make it.
by mother of 3boys
on 4/18/2008 at 7:03 pm
When I found out that I needed a biopsy of my left breast, my husband and I decided not to tell our adult children until we knew the results of the biopsy. Our kids are 37 and 39. My daughter is the oldest and closest to me but she also had alot going on, plus a very busy schedule with work and her two children. Once it was confirmed that I had cancer, then we were very open and informative. We felt it was better not to shake everyone up if in fact the mass could have been benign. I think she was a little hurt that I wanted to spare her any worry but since I did find I had cancer, there was no sense looking back and she just became involved and supportive for what was to come( a lumpectomy and then a mastectomyand the treatment to follow). My younger child, a son, lives out of state and was fine with our decision. I did share my concern before the biopsy with a few long time adult friends in my faith community so my husband and I did have support. I did not feel waiting to tell them added any stress to myself or my husband. My prayers and support are with you, I hope whatever you decide brings you peace.
by Marti
on 4/17/2008 at 2:52 pm
I think she has a right to know the truth. It will be hard to hear, but she will accept the news in time. I debated on whether or not I should use the "C" word when talking to my 11 year old son. He knew I was sick and had to have surgery to remove a lump from my breast. It kept weighing on my heart that I was holding back from him. I sat him down and told him it was cancer. He said, "Mama, I knew it was breast cancer." Smart kid. I don't give him enough credit. Apparently all our whispering and sneaking around didn't fool him for a minute. It was such a relief to be completely open with my family. One less stress in this rocky adventure I've been faced with.
Sending you my prayers.
Rosemary
by Ros
on 4/17/2008 at 2:02 pm

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