RSS
I told my adult daughter about my lump, and that next week I will have a lumpectomy, but the doctor was very optimistic, she (my dtr) looked at all the scans and mammograms films that I have, but she gave no response, nothing at all.
She said she would worry when I got my reports, she was too busy with her 3 month old to worry about me until I was really sick. I guess I was hoping for a hug, and an I love you Mom, when my grandson was in the hospital, I was there for her, my husband is so hurt and mad, that he will not talk to her, and somehow everyone has concern for her not me. I never ask to be in the spotlight, just would like some concern, am I asking too much from a 23 yr old?
Today she called an asked me to make dinner for her, she is so tired with the baby and all, I dont mind, but as I sit hear making spagetti sauce ,and making meat balls,that I'm the one who had a needle biospy, etc, I love her, but at this age
how do I relay to her that this is a difficult situation and I need some support and care.
Any suggestions would be great, cos my brain is on idle
Discussions
Found a Bug?
Report bugs and help us improve the MyNBCF Community.
Feedback
We value your feedback.
Comments:
Want to leave a comment? Login or Register now!Judy
Sounds like she's in denial...probably just want to take the "ostrich approach" for now, which is sort of understandable, but yeah, to you hurtful. She's young, not that that's an excuse, and she's got a new baby so she probably doesn't feel like she has much energy left over at the moment. And, she's probably not wanting to get all worked up if this turns out to be nothing (although you didn't say what your diagnosis is...is the lumpectomy to get to figure out what you're dealing with?). I think you should be up front with her and tell her exactly what you need from her right now, and try to be specific. She's probably at a loss as to what would even be helpful. Maybe she thinks going about business as usual is helpful. And, remember, it's sometimes harder being the "bystander" (as my husband put it today) than the patient since they don't know what the heck to do. I'm sure you'll work it out. Good luck to you, and post more about your lumpectomy outcome. The girls on this site can be a huge help and comfort! Judy
you are a blessingThank you, I guess I needed someone else to tell me, you are a blessing
Maybe she does not want to see the big picture. Or she is just to worried about her self to think of other people. But either way she is your child and you love her. And you will want her there. She is maybe not thinking about you beeing sick. That happend to be in the start. But they all think you are super woman. And maybe you act like you are and you can handel anything. So do you have to sit her down and tell her you need her now. You know she still need you but you need her to be there for you just like you have always been there for her all her life. IT is her turn to step up and be there for you to lean on..... Tell her how you feel-----scared and hurt all of it . But let her know you love her and still will be there for her and the new baby always..........