<?xml version="1.0"?><rss version="2.0"><channel><title>Sunshine7's Journal RSS Feed</title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/sunshine7/journals/rss</link><description>Sunshine7's Journal RSS Feed</description><item><title><![CDATA[Flying High In The Sky!!!!!!!!!!!!]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/sunshine7/journals/7761</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/sunshine7/journals/7761</guid><description><![CDATA[This is a must share story

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in February,2007 and I started the first chemo treatment on March,05. I was so sick that I had to stop work. The first treatment was on a Monday and I didn't get sick until Wednesday. I went from 149lbs of muscle to 129lbs of skinny. I finished the 8th and last treatment on June 11 and I looked like a hot mess. I lost muscle, got skinny, and  gained back fat from the steroids. I looked like a fat bald headed raccoon:)

I am a fitness trainer for 11 years and I thought I was physically fit but I was no match for chemo I got knocked out in the first round :) I went back to work at the gym on July,30 . I really missed teaching and I was determined to get the weight off. I teach 3 classes a week and I even worked out on the days that I didn't teach. I worked out everyday except Sunday. I had to really encourage myself because I was so sick I could hardly get out of bed some mornings, but I didn't let that stop me. I was having trouble with balance and I was so dizzy. I feel better about the way I look now. I am not where I was before the chemo, but I am not too far away.

I had a job interview on Setember,27 with Allegiant Air as a flight attendant and I was sent to Las Vegas NV. on October,31 for 4 1/2 weeks of school. The first day of school was November,01 with a class of 33 people. The first day we each had to introduce ourself. I told my breast cancer story and told them that I was a survivor. It was hard for them to believe that it had only been 5 months since the last chemo treatment.

The first test was on November,05 I couldn't believe how hard the test was, 5 peolpe failed I passed with a 93%. The next day they were able to re-take the test, 4 failed again and were sent home. This really touched me to my soul. The next test was on November,12 and 11 people failed and I was one, I failed with a 85%, 90% is passing. I prayed so hard for everyone more than I prayed for myself we were able to re-take 2 days later. I was so nervous I couldn't concentrate, I coudln't even remember anything. I knew the material but everything seemed so foreign to me. I failed again this time with 80%. I was the only one. I was so up-set with myself but I happy for everyone else. I felt like such a failure. I was on the plane headed home 5 hours later.

I had worked in a environmental laboratory as a microbiologist for 4 years and a chemist for 1 year and I was always a good test taker. I scored high in my class when I got certified as a fitness trainer. It was the first time I admitted to myself that I need help. I remember my daughter wanted to buy me brain games a game that helps to stimulate the brain. I let pride get the best of me, I was okay I didn't need any help from a game, so I thought.

My husband picked me up from the airport in Orlando,FL. He was so supportive on the way home he told me that he knew I wasn't ready for such a challenge but he didn't want to stop me from doing something that was so important to me.  I was forgetting things and I would be confused sometimes but he didn't want to tell me because he thought it would hurt my feelings, and he is probably right.

I stayed in the house for 2 days feeling sorry for myself, but I got up on the third day brushed myself off and headed to Walmart to buy that game . I am having so much fun with brain games it helps with numbers and words my husband have to tell me to put it away and come to bed. 

I was blaming myself for being sick, the bills falling behind and I knew that a starting pay of $20.00 an hour would help get my family back on the right track. I hate driving and I would have had to drive 45 minutes to work and after working 14 hours or more on the days that I had to work was going to be a big challenge on the drive back home, but I willing to do it for my family.

I wanted to share my story because I know there are other women out there that are blaming themselves for something they had no control over. I know that God will never give us a load that is too heavy for us to carry. I feel it is an honor that God chose me for such a task that I may be able to help someone else along the way. I would have never thought I would have breast cancer not after I lost my mother of the same disease. I do know that everthing that God does it is always for a good reason.

I feel God allowed that door to close not because He wasn't strong enough or big enough to hold it open for me, but because He have something even greater for me. I know when the time is right I will open the door and walk right into my blessing.

For every woman out there remember that cancer is not your fault, forgive yourself, wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself a big hug, love you, no one can do it better than you can and know that God loves you and He will never leave you or forsake you. Stand strong, Stay beautiful, and be a Survivor.  Love, Sunshine :)   

]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Let The Sunshine In!!!!]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/sunshine7/journals/7559</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/sunshine7/journals/7559</guid><description><![CDATA[Hi my name is Jean


I am 44 years old, one morning in October 2006 I woke up placed my hand across my chest and felt a lump on my breast. My mother died in October 1995 of breast cancer so I checked my breast regularly. It was 1 week before my period so I thought that was the reason for the change in my breast. My period came on and went off and the lump was still there, so I called my doctor. 

I went in for a visit with my doctor he checked the lump a said it felt like a cyst because it wasn't hard, it was long and soft, but he made an appointment  for me to have a mammogram in November 2006. The  lump did not show up on the mammogram so I had to have a ultrasound. The day of the ultrsound the doctor at the hospital looked at the pictures and told me it was only a cyst and to have another ultrasound the following year. 

I went back to my primary doctor and he said he wanted it check again in March 2007, not November 2007. In February 2007 it started to hurt. I am a fitness trainer and I teach a strength and tone class three times a week using light weights so I didn't know if that was the reason my breast was hurting. My doctor had me to go for a biopsy, and yes it was cancer. I could not believe the doctor at the hospital had miss dignosed it, what if I had waited unil November to be checked again? I was dignosed in February 2007, had a port put in the same month, and started my chemo treatments March 5, 2007. 

Since the ultrasound in November 2006 until February 2007 the tumor had grown, so I had to move fast. I decided to start chemo first to shrink the lump that was over 3cm big before surgery and radiation. The treatments were really hard the first treatment I lost 15 pounds in two days, and I lost all of my hair during the second treatment along with so many side affects. After the third treatment the doctors could no longer find the lump, but I finished all eight treatments and the lump is no where to be found. 

God has for a long time been first in my life and I knew I was healed even before I started treatments, but I knew it was a process I had to go through in order to help and encourage someone else with my story of faith. I finished my last treatment on June 11, 2007.

 The gym that I work for gave me a bike to workout on . I stared working out at home two weeks after my treatments were over, and I started back teaching at the gym on July 30,2007. 

I decided not to have surgery or radiation because I know that God healed me. I started taking Tamoxifen on August 20 and I am doing okay so far. We all have a different story and through all of this I have learned that there is nothing too hard for God. I found out my mother was terminally ill one Saturday in October 1995, and my mother died the following Wednesday, she kept her breast cancer from the family. I will never keep anything that I go through away from my family and I will live and not die. I went in for one day surgery to have my port removed on August 27, 2007  because I will not be needing it anymore my body is cancer free forever. 

I still have some challenging days but I will take one day at a time, and know that God is in control of my life , and that He will take good care of me. God has truly proven Himself to me, and I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.  ]]></description></item></channel></rss>