<?xml version="1.0"?><rss version="2.0"><channel><title>whynotme's Discussion RSS Feed</title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/wykina-blue/discussions/rss</link><description>whynotme's Discussion RSS Feed</description><item><title><![CDATA[Have you learned anything?]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/wykina-blue/discussions/8867</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/wykina-blue/discussions/8867</guid><description><![CDATA[You would be surprised at the amount of acceptance that laughter brings. You will be surprised at how strong you can be when you have no other choice.  You will be surprised at how much you can learn from a situation, if you simply allow yourself to accept that there is a lesson to be learned in every situation that life brings no matter how big or small. You should not be surprised to know that what the devil plans for evil, God can use for good.  

    So what have you learned in your valley? You know, those dark moments in life that seem to go on forever.  Those moments that you wish that God would just fix right now.  Are you learning all that you can, so you can walk out a stronger, happier, more evolved human being, or are you  moping through, stuck at the end, and wondering why you can't step out? Maybe you should turn around and decide to learn, decide to fight, and know that God always helps those who help themselves.  You never know, some of those huge, scary demons that you thought you heard in the darkness, may just fit right under your feet when God shines his light on them. I wrote this to remind myself now and again, of how strong I have to be, just thought I'd share. Love ya.

 

]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[Rains drops keep fallin on my Bald head]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/wykina-blue/discussions/8863</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/wykina-blue/discussions/8863</guid><description><![CDATA[OK I'm gonna sound like a total nut, but it fills damn good to take a cool shower in 90 degree weather without a hair on my body.  It fills good to be able to come home and take off my hair.  It feels good not to have to shave, and my eyebrows can be whatever shape or color I want them to be, lol.  But seriously, I know that loosing hair is MUCH, MUCH, more important to some than others, I've had short hair, long hair, and somewhere in between throughout different periods in my life, and I can't say that loosing my hair was the end all for me.  If you are one of the many that worked so hard on a healthy full head of hair only to loose in in almost one fail swoop to BC, I am truly sorry.  I pray that all of us can suck, squeeze, ring, and stomp every positive thing we can out of this life changing thing that has happened to us. So, I am looking forward to a brand new, totally natural, thick, full head of hair.  Until then, take lots of nice long showers and baths and appreciate how good the water fills rolling down your skin.  

By the way, if you are so brave as to go out without your wig or scarf, I say go for it, what a huge lesson in self confidence. If you can hold your bald head high and not give a cats claw about what everyone is thinking about you, imagine the amount of confidence you'll have in your everyday get up, if that happens to be something other than bald.   ]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[One Question]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/wykina-blue/discussions/7929</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/wykina-blue/discussions/7929</guid><description><![CDATA[The other day My mother-in-law asked me if I was dying. Needless to say I felt offended. I got mad and wondered why she would ask me that, I mean, I am married to her son, you would think that she would ask him in private. Anyway, at the time I half heartily told her that was up to God, and left it at that. I didn't think about it for a couple of hours, then all of a sudden it hit me, I felt very depressed. The sadness that I felt was incredible. It was the worst night I've had since this whole thing started. I cried a lot. I didn't get much sleep and when I woke up the next morning I immediately burst into tears. From the time I found out about the cancer I never once thought that I would actually die. 

In the mist of crying and thinking about what my funeral would be like, I caught myself. WHAT IN THE HELL AM I DOING!!!! I let one person, one human, define my destiny with one statement. I knew right then that I was no where near as close to God as I should be. I started to pray, really pray. I gave myself, and my life back to God. By the time I finished praying, the weight of death lifted and all I could feel was the love of God. 

The bible says that the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men. A lot of times people say things that we perceive as hurtful or foolish. But I believe that sometimes God is speaking through others to get our attention. If it had not been for that comment I would have not realized that my relationship with God was so severely damaged. That statement that seemed so foolish caused a domino effect that pushed me straight into God's arms again. If she had asked my husband that question in private, he would have told her "no", and he would have never told me about it. So I say thank you Jesus, for allowing my mother-in-law to be so bold as to ask me a question that changed my perception, and further showed me that God still works in mysterious ways.

]]></description></item><item><title><![CDATA[I give up.]]></title><link>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/wykina-blue/discussions/7923</link><guid>http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/mynbcf/members/wykina-blue/discussions/7923</guid><description><![CDATA[I realized today that I have been trying to fight cancer all by myself.  This is not my fight.  God promised me that I would be healed of all of my afflictions.  As much as I say it, I haven't truly believed it for a long time. I have been leaning on friends and family and everyone else I could find for support, but I forgot about God.  I know that God sends people in my life for love and support and strength, but when you forget about God, it's like changing the date of the party on the one who planned the whole thing.

Today I am giving myself permission to give this to God. I'm tellin God when and where all of my appointments are, so he can be there with me.  He can help me and my husband remember to ask the questions that we forget.  You know those little questions we think don't make a difference.  I'm giving him permission to go into the lab and look at my films and slides and to make sure that nothing was overlooked.  I'm giving God permission to talk to my doctors, because who knows my body better than God?  I give God permission to speak to my doctors about what they should do, and to guide me in the direction of treatment that's best for me.

I will always believe that I was put in this position for a reason, but in order to have a testimony of being cured of breast cancer, I must trust that God can and will cure me.  My mother always says if your going to pray why worry.  With this new year comes a new perspective.  I once said that I own this, it does not own me.  What I should have said is I do not own this and it does not own me.  I gave my cancer to God today, I'll let him throw it out.]]></description></item></channel></rss>