National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.

I realized today that I have been trying to fight cancer all by myself. This is not my fight. God promised me that I would be healed of all of my afflictions. As much as I say it, I haven't truly believed it for a long time. I have been leaning on friends and family and everyone else I could find for support, but I forgot about God. I know that God sends people in my life for love and support and strength, but when you forget about God, it's like changing the date of the party on the one who planned the whole thing.

Today I am giving myself permission to give this to God. I'm tellin God when and where all of my appointments are, so he can be there with me. He can help me and my husband remember to ask the questions that we forget. You know those little questions we think don't make a difference. I'm giving him permission to go into the lab and look at my films and slides and to make sure that nothing was overlooked. I'm giving God permission to talk to my doctors, because who knows my body better than God? I give God permission to speak to my doctors about what they should do, and to guide me in the direction of treatment that's best for me.

I will always believe that I was put in this position for a reason, but in order to have a testimony of being cured of breast cancer, I must trust that God can and will cure me. My mother always says if your going to pray why worry. With this new year comes a new perspective. I once said that I own this, it does not own me. What I should have said is I do not own this and it does not own me. I gave my cancer to God today, I'll let him throw it out.